stage 2 day 17
I had a couple dreams last night but I don’t really remember most of it. What I do remember is going to a house party where I met this girl, and we were talking and hitting it off, but something happened to where we wouldn’t be able to be together but in the same house party, I met another girl Lynn and we were trying to go to the roof of the house, but in order to do that we had to climb up the staircase, and into a little hole in the wall. then we arrived on the roof. It was weird, I think I’m leaving out a lot of details because that’s all I remember.
The weird thing is that I don’t think this was the first time dreaming about that house. I know I've had a dream about that particular house before, and trying to get to the roof the same way.
I also saw a lot of cats I went to middle school with in a different dream. I saw them as what I would imagine their current aged selves would be. M still was a crazy guy like he'd always been, CW looked like a kid still. CD looked like a pro athlete, etc. One thing I noticed was odd about the dream was that a lot of these guys didn't seem too thrilled to see me. As if I didn't play an important part in their life one bit.
So last night I went to a rave with some people from the YPAA community. I don’t know if it’s because I was with a group of people who wanted to see me dance, or the fact that I’m becoming more confident in who I am, but I found myself jumping into dance circles throughout the night, and I was really getting down as the night went on. Supposedly I had a girl inching her way closer to me, and my friend J told me to turn around and dance but another guy must have seen him talk into my ear so when I turned around this dude started making out with her. lol
I got a lot of attention from the group I was with, but I didn’t necessarily feel like I was on the spotlight and getting glorious attention. In fact, I ALMOST feel I could have taken it or left it, since I was just letting my body loose and enjoying the music. But a part of me definitely enjoyed the attention, since I’ve been a self proclaimed “attention whore” for my whole life, but for all the wrong reasons. I just felt absolutely comfortable being myself and enjoyed the companies of my friends, and it was an overall amazing experience for everyone.
This time I initiated some physical contact with women for the first time at a situation like this, without any real expectations either.
I had a couple dreams last night but I don’t really remember most of it. What I do remember is going to a house party where I met this girl, and we were talking and hitting it off, but something happened to where we wouldn’t be able to be together but in the same house party, I met another girl Lynn and we were trying to go to the roof of the house, but in order to do that we had to climb up the staircase, and into a little hole in the wall. then we arrived on the roof. It was weird, I think I’m leaving out a lot of details because that’s all I remember.
The weird thing is that I don’t think this was the first time dreaming about that house. I know I've had a dream about that particular house before, and trying to get to the roof the same way.
I also saw a lot of cats I went to middle school with in a different dream. I saw them as what I would imagine their current aged selves would be. M still was a crazy guy like he'd always been, CW looked like a kid still. CD looked like a pro athlete, etc. One thing I noticed was odd about the dream was that a lot of these guys didn't seem too thrilled to see me. As if I didn't play an important part in their life one bit.
So last night I went to a rave with some people from the YPAA community. I don’t know if it’s because I was with a group of people who wanted to see me dance, or the fact that I’m becoming more confident in who I am, but I found myself jumping into dance circles throughout the night, and I was really getting down as the night went on. Supposedly I had a girl inching her way closer to me, and my friend J told me to turn around and dance but another guy must have seen him talk into my ear so when I turned around this dude started making out with her. lol
I got a lot of attention from the group I was with, but I didn’t necessarily feel like I was on the spotlight and getting glorious attention. In fact, I ALMOST feel I could have taken it or left it, since I was just letting my body loose and enjoying the music. But a part of me definitely enjoyed the attention, since I’ve been a self proclaimed “attention whore” for my whole life, but for all the wrong reasons. I just felt absolutely comfortable being myself and enjoyed the companies of my friends, and it was an overall amazing experience for everyone.
This time I initiated some physical contact with women for the first time at a situation like this, without any real expectations either.
