02-02-2015, 04:17 PM
last day of stage 1
hard to document what exactly changed, went through some very intense emotional stuff about my sexuality, a porn binge... that was all very negative, but ended in me being much more honest with some close friend s(a very important part of being alpha) and if I can be honest with them, being honest with any new people will be easy.
feel much clearer on what I have to do work wise.. more motivated for my career... feel motivated to just constantly take action on things, and when I don't I get very discontented.
been working out still, starting to feel very strong.
feeling less guilt about certain things, looking less to others for "how to be"
haven't been out much, so haven't talked to many women in the last week, but started to feel that the women thing is easy in comparison to the real task at hand (carving out a successful career as an artist, doing my work my way). Will start approaching more when I get back into the city (out with parents now) but I'm not worried about it too much. when we go deep enough into our purpose rejection doesn't hurt so much -- and that is really the only fear at play here... rejection.
I decided I really only want to be with girls that I really like (whether that's one, two, or three ;-) ) but I'm willing to be patient to find them. Just have to meet a bunch and screen. they don't have to be perfect, but have to understand what I'm about, be very feminine and receptive sexually, and be intellectually interesting.
In the meantime I'm focused on creating the kind of life where I am absolutely fulfilled, strong, and excited without women at all, because we can only really give ourselves happiness. then women start flocking I've seen it before in the times of my life where I was really 'on'-- just trying now to figure out what's keeping me from staying in that place and making the changes.
hard to document what exactly changed, went through some very intense emotional stuff about my sexuality, a porn binge... that was all very negative, but ended in me being much more honest with some close friend s(a very important part of being alpha) and if I can be honest with them, being honest with any new people will be easy.
feel much clearer on what I have to do work wise.. more motivated for my career... feel motivated to just constantly take action on things, and when I don't I get very discontented.
been working out still, starting to feel very strong.
feeling less guilt about certain things, looking less to others for "how to be"
haven't been out much, so haven't talked to many women in the last week, but started to feel that the women thing is easy in comparison to the real task at hand (carving out a successful career as an artist, doing my work my way). Will start approaching more when I get back into the city (out with parents now) but I'm not worried about it too much. when we go deep enough into our purpose rejection doesn't hurt so much -- and that is really the only fear at play here... rejection.
I decided I really only want to be with girls that I really like (whether that's one, two, or three ;-) ) but I'm willing to be patient to find them. Just have to meet a bunch and screen. they don't have to be perfect, but have to understand what I'm about, be very feminine and receptive sexually, and be intellectually interesting.
In the meantime I'm focused on creating the kind of life where I am absolutely fulfilled, strong, and excited without women at all, because we can only really give ourselves happiness. then women start flocking I've seen it before in the times of my life where I was really 'on'-- just trying now to figure out what's keeping me from staying in that place and making the changes.
Link removed
