01-21-2015, 05:03 PM
So EPHRA has been making changes. But I've probably not been listening enough. It's kind of funny how ridiculously easy it is to slip on headphones and press play during the day, and yet there's a very strong resistance to doing so. I was going strong for a while with dedicated listening and then I slowly stopped for some reason. I realized today I really need to pick it back up again because I'm only hurting myself by avoiding listening.
It kind of feels like I'm able to distance myself from the negativity more. Like I'm not internalizing it and convincing myself I'm an awful person. Obviously I have my weak moments, but lately I feel like I have more control. Or I should say I feel like I have a choice, either let go of the negativity or internalize it and make myself feel worse.
As far as depression goes, it's still there. But I'm not letting it define me as much as I used to. That means monitoring what I say and reminding myself that it's just the depression speaking.
Still not 100 percent certain what's due to subconscious beliefs vs physical problems. But I've started taking more vitamins and making sure I get good nutrition. Also I was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid, so I'm on medication for that now. Whatever it is, mental or physical, I'm doing whatever I can to get better at this point.
It kind of feels like I'm able to distance myself from the negativity more. Like I'm not internalizing it and convincing myself I'm an awful person. Obviously I have my weak moments, but lately I feel like I have more control. Or I should say I feel like I have a choice, either let go of the negativity or internalize it and make myself feel worse.
As far as depression goes, it's still there. But I'm not letting it define me as much as I used to. That means monitoring what I say and reminding myself that it's just the depression speaking.
Still not 100 percent certain what's due to subconscious beliefs vs physical problems. But I've started taking more vitamins and making sure I get good nutrition. Also I was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid, so I'm on medication for that now. Whatever it is, mental or physical, I'm doing whatever I can to get better at this point.
