Rubman's AM6 journey

[Natious]

Hi dissonance. At the time I posted I abandoned again. I have a tendency to feel BAD about attracting women in my life... like if I use subs I am cheating, but that thing is gone. If I have given up two times there won't be a third as I started again 2 months ago.

This time because I got an anxiety problems and couldn't breathe well with attacks (first time in my life, I am extremelly healthy) so... That was a reason to finish AM6 once and forever. In the first 2 weeks of using it again anxiety problem were erradicated totally.

Im using EFT/Tat, positive affirmations and AM6 again. What can I say? I dont feel guilty of using it anymore and one of the things I have developed (I am really changing my behaviour) is to get pissed off FAST by people, that did not sink in last time in 4 months. At the moment I have to control myself not to be a jerk with everyone as I get annoyed by the most pesky and little things. Even I am loosing fears when talking with women like, looking at them in the eyes I think You can talk whatever but wont make me feel bad again because I am a man of value.(sometimes they women try to shittest you in the most simple conversations).

Will post more changes as you know its a bit soon. Im starting stage 3 now. Cheers thank for posting.

I think I see what you mean with it being as a cheat, I can't help but sometimes feel like I'm a machine being programmed. However at the same time I feel like I'm moving closer towards the important answers that I have been looking for a long time.

I had a panic attack again yesterday (last one was about 5 months ago, followed by another one) and I've never had panic attacks before using these subs, my gut tells me it's because I'm facing all of these buried feelings and pain. I didn't take anything and tried to breathe trough it but I woke up at least 5 times with the same thing and then it disappeared.

I know how it feels to be on the edge of such confusion and anger that you want to quit the program and I humbly believe I'm not the only one (I'm a guy who's an expert on quitting things when they get tough). But every time something tells me that there's a reason why I'm doing this and because of this intuitive hunch I continue. One of the most important things I have learned so far being on AM6 is to listen to myself. When in pain or complete misery, I refuse to hide from it now. And this honestly is the complete opposite of what I used to do before. It's not easy by far but it's the right thing.
After this long mumbling what I'm getting at is listen to yourself, not just the voice that goes on in your head and tells you that you need to stop. Ask why? why am I so afraid? After all you are the one who's supposed to control the voices not they you.