12-14-2014, 05:32 PM
Sometimes I have this feeling of wanting to be myself, but not feeling like I'm able to. For as much progress as I've made there's definitely still a part of me that's not comfortable with being who I am. It almost feels like I'm shedding layers of negativity to get to my core self, but I'm just not there yet.
The other thing is I'm not above societal pressure. It's not so much that I give in to that pressure, it's more like I'm not strong enough yet to stand up to it and forge my own path. It's almost like this void that people get sucked into or maybe some of them don't care, but I do. I feel the pull of it and I'm constantly trying to get away from it because I know it'll make me miserable.
That's abstract as hell and it's not filled with actual examples of what I'm fighting. But it's there.
And I guess that's the biggest issue. The whole system just feels wrong. But I can't just go live in the woods, that's running away. And I can't just angrily rebel because that anger will only eat me up and contribute to nothing. The only clear cut answer for me is to be strong enough in my convictions and beliefs in order to live my life how I want to live it.
The other thing is I'm not above societal pressure. It's not so much that I give in to that pressure, it's more like I'm not strong enough yet to stand up to it and forge my own path. It's almost like this void that people get sucked into or maybe some of them don't care, but I do. I feel the pull of it and I'm constantly trying to get away from it because I know it'll make me miserable.
That's abstract as hell and it's not filled with actual examples of what I'm fighting. But it's there.
And I guess that's the biggest issue. The whole system just feels wrong. But I can't just go live in the woods, that's running away. And I can't just angrily rebel because that anger will only eat me up and contribute to nothing. The only clear cut answer for me is to be strong enough in my convictions and beliefs in order to live my life how I want to live it.
