11-19-2014, 01:18 PM
Crazy things happen. Yesterday I had an appointment and had to wait for a while. Other people were there, too. A young girl sat next to me. She was really cute and it looked like she was attracted to me due to the body language I have seen. The crazy thing is that she took a photo of me. I wouldn't realize this but the flashlight of her phone turned on while the phone was turned to my direction. She probably forgot to turn it off because she seemed uncomfortable after that happened, turned immediately the phone away and tried to cover the flashlight (which didn't work well...). After a while she took the phone in her hand again and pointed it again to my direction in a pretty similar way like before. No flashlight the second time, but it looked like she had taken some pics again. She also held the phone a bit lower at a given point. In this position it looked like she was taking pictures of my crotch (!?). I was somehow amused about that stuff.
The really good thing about it is that I became aware of some things that holding me back approaching women. So I almost don't feel a general fear of rejection, but I am really uncomfortable to get rejected if other people are around. I fear somehow that they will laugh at me at this case. I am also uncomfortable starting to talk in such a situation because if all people around are quiet I become the center of attention immediately and I also don't like the idea that they might think I am pervert or something like that. I am sure I had talked to her if that things were different because she really was my type and her body language indicated some interest, too. Probably good stuff to do some PSTEC on.
Anyway, today I felt really attractive and confident like never before. It was like I really have got all my sh*t together. In the same way the neediness I still had regarding some special things/circumstances started to decrease.
The really good thing about it is that I became aware of some things that holding me back approaching women. So I almost don't feel a general fear of rejection, but I am really uncomfortable to get rejected if other people are around. I fear somehow that they will laugh at me at this case. I am also uncomfortable starting to talk in such a situation because if all people around are quiet I become the center of attention immediately and I also don't like the idea that they might think I am pervert or something like that. I am sure I had talked to her if that things were different because she really was my type and her body language indicated some interest, too. Probably good stuff to do some PSTEC on.
Anyway, today I felt really attractive and confident like never before. It was like I really have got all my sh*t together. In the same way the neediness I still had regarding some special things/circumstances started to decrease.
