01-09-2011, 06:00 PM
Yeah it could be carpe diem subliminal resistance I've been very use to
living with my mind on the future so it makes sense, but when carpe diem hits
I feel way more relaxed and motivated in the present but I can also be antsy to act and bored if I am not doing so. I think its more an Alpha male resistance thing than carpe diem-I actually have more breakthroughs of color for me since starting carpe diem. Ryan, if ur still on Alpha stage 1 it is most likely that-I used to get depressed pretty bad and Alpha stage one altered between super pissed off, I'm the biggest BA in the world, and I'm so depressed, bored, and meaningless.
I re-read my post and it sounds why bleaker than I intended
I'm not depressed AT ALL, I just feel super at peace and let go of so much that
there's an emptiness in me that is at time disconcerting, it seems I am transition from what mattered before to whats coming to matter more now-I feel I'm going through a period of obsolescence,
Spiral it doesn't work like quite like that anymore for me, I feel passion is an attribute applied to anything or life itself, and it can be cultivated or it can strike as if by grace for some. Whats ur passion spiral? I have a kind of 'if it comes it comes if it doesn't it doesn't matter' attitude and I don't really have a particular passion right now. My favorite thing
in the world is snowboarding and I drive out of the city when I can to go-the speed, the air, and the cold makes it all worthwhile-but I really cant do it that much.
I'm also really getting into boxing, basketball, weight lifting things that are really challenging and physical I love. I still love, books, music, movies, things relating to personal and spiritual growth, and one of my new favorite hobbies-pheromones. I'm really enjoying work as well but all the things seem more like toys than reason d'etres, I don't know, I feel this emptiness is giving me more depth carving out the hull for future joy.
But I don't think finding an activity I'm crazy about is where its at for me, I think its an internal thing and a holistic picture that is driving me to keep growing. Like when I make the decision to do something dramatically different and do it, this empty grey turns into fire and more self fulfillment, I just cant always bring myself to take those leaps so the grey stays. I'm actually embracing it a lot I was just saying that its not at all like I thought Alpha would be
thanks for asking spiral, really got me thinking on a more positive track
living with my mind on the future so it makes sense, but when carpe diem hits
I feel way more relaxed and motivated in the present but I can also be antsy to act and bored if I am not doing so. I think its more an Alpha male resistance thing than carpe diem-I actually have more breakthroughs of color for me since starting carpe diem. Ryan, if ur still on Alpha stage 1 it is most likely that-I used to get depressed pretty bad and Alpha stage one altered between super pissed off, I'm the biggest BA in the world, and I'm so depressed, bored, and meaningless.
I re-read my post and it sounds why bleaker than I intended
I'm not depressed AT ALL, I just feel super at peace and let go of so much that
there's an emptiness in me that is at time disconcerting, it seems I am transition from what mattered before to whats coming to matter more now-I feel I'm going through a period of obsolescence,
Spiral it doesn't work like quite like that anymore for me, I feel passion is an attribute applied to anything or life itself, and it can be cultivated or it can strike as if by grace for some. Whats ur passion spiral? I have a kind of 'if it comes it comes if it doesn't it doesn't matter' attitude and I don't really have a particular passion right now. My favorite thing
in the world is snowboarding and I drive out of the city when I can to go-the speed, the air, and the cold makes it all worthwhile-but I really cant do it that much.
I'm also really getting into boxing, basketball, weight lifting things that are really challenging and physical I love. I still love, books, music, movies, things relating to personal and spiritual growth, and one of my new favorite hobbies-pheromones. I'm really enjoying work as well but all the things seem more like toys than reason d'etres, I don't know, I feel this emptiness is giving me more depth carving out the hull for future joy.
But I don't think finding an activity I'm crazy about is where its at for me, I think its an internal thing and a holistic picture that is driving me to keep growing. Like when I make the decision to do something dramatically different and do it, this empty grey turns into fire and more self fulfillment, I just cant always bring myself to take those leaps so the grey stays. I'm actually embracing it a lot I was just saying that its not at all like I thought Alpha would be
thanks for asking spiral, really got me thinking on a more positive track
1. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
