11-14-2014, 10:44 AM
Day 75
I wanted to write about something else today, something I've done to clean myself emotionally. I will not do it though, because it's not exactly family safe and it's too personal for me. Suffice to say I've exploded (as I feared I might), but EPRHA & OGSF came to help and now I feel like I was relieved of a burden.
I will talk about future instead. I always find it funny how we think the future will change very little. How we assume most variables will stay the same, our circle of friends will consist of the same faces etc. Of course we anticipate some changes, but background is unshaken. And so I thought too, until I realized how my life will look like in 5 years and tried to remember how it looked not even 5, but 2 years ago. During those 2 years I've done so many things for the first time, I've met so many people and learnt so much it's beyond belief. All my currents friends I've got to know in this time, I'm not in touch with anyone from before. My believes changes, my loves changes and my personality changed in response to the new experiences. And today I realized that in 5 years I will probably live in different country (possibly different continent), I will meet thousand of new people, experience hundreds of new things and I myself will change with or without subs. So there is no point in being down now. First of all there will be time when today will be distant memory and I'll start with blank slate. And second of all if past 2 years proved me anything, it's that changes come naturally and quickly, you don't even notice them half the time. I complain that I don't meet many new people, but I forgot how many people I got to know in past month or three. I complain how I don't get chances, but I forget how many of them I've used recently. Future is too ambiguous to be negative about it. All we can predict is that Sun will rise and fall every single day and what is left is to make it as good as possible.
I wanted to write about something else today, something I've done to clean myself emotionally. I will not do it though, because it's not exactly family safe and it's too personal for me. Suffice to say I've exploded (as I feared I might), but EPRHA & OGSF came to help and now I feel like I was relieved of a burden.
I will talk about future instead. I always find it funny how we think the future will change very little. How we assume most variables will stay the same, our circle of friends will consist of the same faces etc. Of course we anticipate some changes, but background is unshaken. And so I thought too, until I realized how my life will look like in 5 years and tried to remember how it looked not even 5, but 2 years ago. During those 2 years I've done so many things for the first time, I've met so many people and learnt so much it's beyond belief. All my currents friends I've got to know in this time, I'm not in touch with anyone from before. My believes changes, my loves changes and my personality changed in response to the new experiences. And today I realized that in 5 years I will probably live in different country (possibly different continent), I will meet thousand of new people, experience hundreds of new things and I myself will change with or without subs. So there is no point in being down now. First of all there will be time when today will be distant memory and I'll start with blank slate. And second of all if past 2 years proved me anything, it's that changes come naturally and quickly, you don't even notice them half the time. I complain that I don't meet many new people, but I forgot how many people I got to know in past month or three. I complain how I don't get chances, but I forget how many of them I've used recently. Future is too ambiguous to be negative about it. All we can predict is that Sun will rise and fall every single day and what is left is to make it as good as possible.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
