10-18-2014, 12:21 PM
Day 48
I almost feel as if all my progress with LTU went to waste. Procrastination scored great victory today and the only thing I accomplished was completing some missions in "Shadow of Mordor". I was listening to music on Youtube in the evening jumping from one suggestion to the other and even though I started with cheerful Indie Rock the only song I vibed with was "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day. I didn't want to go further than that. I feel weak and scared, weighted even though my burdens aren't really that heavy those days. I'm even tired from writing this post. I almost want to stop listening to LTU, to give myself some rest but I know I can't. It's still early and response like that is only natural if LTU does it's job. I think I need to find a goal, a purpose to keep me going when simple surviving isn't enough, but how to find it? No sub can help me with this.
On other topic I've read some topics and journals on the forum and I've decided 100% percent to go with Alpha Male. BASE sounds great, but it won't help me develop as much as AM will I think. I fear though that my foundations are way to weak for AM and even next 2.5 months of LTU won't prepare them well enough for me to be able to do something with AM.
I almost feel as if all my progress with LTU went to waste. Procrastination scored great victory today and the only thing I accomplished was completing some missions in "Shadow of Mordor". I was listening to music on Youtube in the evening jumping from one suggestion to the other and even though I started with cheerful Indie Rock the only song I vibed with was "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day. I didn't want to go further than that. I feel weak and scared, weighted even though my burdens aren't really that heavy those days. I'm even tired from writing this post. I almost want to stop listening to LTU, to give myself some rest but I know I can't. It's still early and response like that is only natural if LTU does it's job. I think I need to find a goal, a purpose to keep me going when simple surviving isn't enough, but how to find it? No sub can help me with this.
On other topic I've read some topics and journals on the forum and I've decided 100% percent to go with Alpha Male. BASE sounds great, but it won't help me develop as much as AM will I think. I fear though that my foundations are way to weak for AM and even next 2.5 months of LTU won't prepare them well enough for me to be able to do something with AM.
