09-19-2014, 12:14 PM
Day 19
This is strange update for me because it's so hard to write it. It's my second try to do it and I'm not even sure if it's the best thing to write today. My first try failed because I felt kind of ashamed to write it. But for bookkeeping reasons as well as to write about both good and bad things, I'll try to do it.
Today was very hard for me. I was extremely negative ever since I woke up and it continues throughout the day. I might say I was negativity incarnate. Maybe it's a resistance from my subconscious, maybe it's because of stress I have with my new flat, or maybe both combined, but I feel really but lately. I hope it goes away and I will go back to the progress I had a couple of days back. Part of me wants to stop subs for a day or two, but I know it's not the best idea so I only decreased exposure to about 12 hours to give me some rest. Listening to subs also got tore tiring recently, 11 hours of sleep yesterday wasn't enough and listening it during the day makes me tired and makes it hard to focus on something other than mindless YouTube or video games. Because of my humor I had to refuse to go for a beer with my friend. I tried to deal with it using my old medicine - running - but 5 km weren't enough for all this negativity I had in me today.
From positive news I started to read a book I meant to read for a year now, and I think I might actually read though it cause it really made me interested. Also I've noticed a number of shifts in my thoughts and evaluations. I really seems as if my worldview and self-image is slowly shifting in a good direction.
I hope next update will bring only the good news
This is strange update for me because it's so hard to write it. It's my second try to do it and I'm not even sure if it's the best thing to write today. My first try failed because I felt kind of ashamed to write it. But for bookkeeping reasons as well as to write about both good and bad things, I'll try to do it.
Today was very hard for me. I was extremely negative ever since I woke up and it continues throughout the day. I might say I was negativity incarnate. Maybe it's a resistance from my subconscious, maybe it's because of stress I have with my new flat, or maybe both combined, but I feel really but lately. I hope it goes away and I will go back to the progress I had a couple of days back. Part of me wants to stop subs for a day or two, but I know it's not the best idea so I only decreased exposure to about 12 hours to give me some rest. Listening to subs also got tore tiring recently, 11 hours of sleep yesterday wasn't enough and listening it during the day makes me tired and makes it hard to focus on something other than mindless YouTube or video games. Because of my humor I had to refuse to go for a beer with my friend. I tried to deal with it using my old medicine - running - but 5 km weren't enough for all this negativity I had in me today.
From positive news I started to read a book I meant to read for a year now, and I think I might actually read though it cause it really made me interested. Also I've noticed a number of shifts in my thoughts and evaluations. I really seems as if my worldview and self-image is slowly shifting in a good direction.
I hope next update will bring only the good news
