13/9/14
Just a quick update to say I think I am closer to my normal self now, to how I used to be. Apparently I am a bit flirty by nature but that had gotten so blocked for a while and I was afraid to flirt with strangers! Well, I went on the bus one day, asking the driver if he went where I needed to go and he told me which bus and as I got off I said "By the way, you're REALLY cute."
It felt so liberating.
I didn't hang around to see his response but it just felt nice to say it (and yes I DID think he was really cute!)
So just little things like that.
I find if I don't listen to the subs for a while I get less guys smiling back at me and so forth so I need to use them more to get the messages (regarding overcoming approach anxiety and attracting handsome men) into my mind much more.
I still hold back quite a bit though. Like to be perfectly honest, I have a sex buddy although we are not exclusive and I see myself as single and looking (but if I got into a serious relationship he would have to go.) He complained to me yesterday, "Why didn't you text me to meet?"
Well, HE always texts ME so I waited and just got on with life, but the reason I am mentioning this at all is cos even in THAT situation, I don't take the initiative 'cos it's been SO ingrained into me NOT to, because I am a woman - sigh! - even in a sexual situation.
Though when we were you know
yesterday, at one stage, I kinda grabbed his face and started kissing him, and that was new cos usually I have been letting him take the lead, which he enjoys doing anyway. (He loved that by the way!)
OK, enough about my sex life!
So, yeah, there have been some improvements but I still have a long way to go.
I'm pleased at how the attract handsome men sub really HAS got better looking men in the street smiling at me and noticing me again.
It feels so nice.
But I also DO want to be able to ask a man out and I think it's just a matter of time.
And it's a fun journey!
Just a quick update to say I think I am closer to my normal self now, to how I used to be. Apparently I am a bit flirty by nature but that had gotten so blocked for a while and I was afraid to flirt with strangers! Well, I went on the bus one day, asking the driver if he went where I needed to go and he told me which bus and as I got off I said "By the way, you're REALLY cute."
It felt so liberating.
I didn't hang around to see his response but it just felt nice to say it (and yes I DID think he was really cute!)
So just little things like that.
I find if I don't listen to the subs for a while I get less guys smiling back at me and so forth so I need to use them more to get the messages (regarding overcoming approach anxiety and attracting handsome men) into my mind much more.
I still hold back quite a bit though. Like to be perfectly honest, I have a sex buddy although we are not exclusive and I see myself as single and looking (but if I got into a serious relationship he would have to go.) He complained to me yesterday, "Why didn't you text me to meet?"
Well, HE always texts ME so I waited and just got on with life, but the reason I am mentioning this at all is cos even in THAT situation, I don't take the initiative 'cos it's been SO ingrained into me NOT to, because I am a woman - sigh! - even in a sexual situation.
Though when we were you know
yesterday, at one stage, I kinda grabbed his face and started kissing him, and that was new cos usually I have been letting him take the lead, which he enjoys doing anyway. (He loved that by the way!)OK, enough about my sex life!
So, yeah, there have been some improvements but I still have a long way to go.
I'm pleased at how the attract handsome men sub really HAS got better looking men in the street smiling at me and noticing me again.
It feels so nice.
But I also DO want to be able to ask a man out and I think it's just a matter of time.
And it's a fun journey!
