08-22-2014, 02:10 PM
Been a few days. Just gonna post some updates on things I've noticed.
First of all I've been absolutely consuming info about sound design. One thing I've noticed is I can really focus on whats going on and get it, without feeling like I'm straining my brain. One of the biggest issues I'd always run into is getting overwhelmed when trying to learn new things and that triggers anxiety and stress and it's just no good. My skills are slowly improving.
Now the other thing is I'm feeling that it's more and more possible to reach the level of skill I desire with making music. One of my biggest blocks creatively is doubt, and how I constantly question every little thing I do when making music. It breaks the flow. Some days are better than others. I can still feel the occasional hopelessness and frustration when things aren't going right with the music. Particularly when I listen to one of my favorite artists and notice how much of a gap there is in my abilities. Still I'm noticing that those moments don't come as frequently as they used to.
I have to say that there are some downsides occurring, which might be due to my nature and the subliminal amplifying that. My brain is going nonstop trying to figure out things, which isn't too bad. But I notice that I can't let it go. So if I don't get something, my mind is pretty much centered on that 24/7 and stresses me out until I figure it out. I don't think it's particularly healthy, and I think I have to let go and let my subconscious mind take over instead of stressing over it. Kind of like when you can't remember the name of something and then go do something else and then it pops into your head.
I think part of it is I want to reach a point where I feel like my music is good enough so I don't have that frustration anymore. But I think I might be burning myself out and pushing myself too much. I noticed I was dead tired today because I didn't get much sleep and I was thinking about how I can get better. So in a nutshell, I think my desire to get better comes from two sides. One side wants to get better so I can express myself more accurately. The other side wants to get better so I can avoid the negative feelings associated with making crappy music. I tend to take my stuff too seriously and to some degree it is tied to my self worth, which I'm trying to get rid of.
First of all I've been absolutely consuming info about sound design. One thing I've noticed is I can really focus on whats going on and get it, without feeling like I'm straining my brain. One of the biggest issues I'd always run into is getting overwhelmed when trying to learn new things and that triggers anxiety and stress and it's just no good. My skills are slowly improving.
Now the other thing is I'm feeling that it's more and more possible to reach the level of skill I desire with making music. One of my biggest blocks creatively is doubt, and how I constantly question every little thing I do when making music. It breaks the flow. Some days are better than others. I can still feel the occasional hopelessness and frustration when things aren't going right with the music. Particularly when I listen to one of my favorite artists and notice how much of a gap there is in my abilities. Still I'm noticing that those moments don't come as frequently as they used to.
I have to say that there are some downsides occurring, which might be due to my nature and the subliminal amplifying that. My brain is going nonstop trying to figure out things, which isn't too bad. But I notice that I can't let it go. So if I don't get something, my mind is pretty much centered on that 24/7 and stresses me out until I figure it out. I don't think it's particularly healthy, and I think I have to let go and let my subconscious mind take over instead of stressing over it. Kind of like when you can't remember the name of something and then go do something else and then it pops into your head.
I think part of it is I want to reach a point where I feel like my music is good enough so I don't have that frustration anymore. But I think I might be burning myself out and pushing myself too much. I noticed I was dead tired today because I didn't get much sleep and I was thinking about how I can get better. So in a nutshell, I think my desire to get better comes from two sides. One side wants to get better so I can express myself more accurately. The other side wants to get better so I can avoid the negative feelings associated with making crappy music. I tend to take my stuff too seriously and to some degree it is tied to my self worth, which I'm trying to get rid of.
