08-07-2014, 06:07 PM
-----Day 11----
Ok, soo today wasn't actually what i wanted. i waked confident but something bugged me latter i discovered tht for some reason i was feeling like a jerk and feel like way WAYYYY to negative, and everytime i tried to stop being negative? i get one big headache, it wasn't later that i remember reading in the forum (i don't remeber where exactly); that if you force yourself much in what you want in the file you wil begin to feel negative, and express negative. that You need to feel gratitude for how you are, and how you feel.
I was forcing my self to be confident, but that wasn't what worked in the beginning, so when i decided that i was beign confident to be a better me, things fixed. More later this day i decided to look my journal and i disocvered that in the beggining the file was going cool, but when i feel a little resistance, i begin to change my mind for something better, and appareantly this better things didn't help me at all. i decided to go back to what i was doing initially.
Quiting all this ramble lol. There were things that were very Wtf, and maybe i need coaching xD.
First i wasn't feeling ok, although people were like ignoring me and i was feeling very down. Bam a lot of girls i greet aproached me even when i didn't want to talk, some of them after greet me were very nervous because they didn't know what to do, and other just plain me ignored me; one very weird thing, maybe i was wrong but i was received with a lot of interested yet submissive stare, like the girls wanted to talk to me, but they didn't know what to do.
Another thing was that i didn want to talk this morining and then this weird and cool things happened, It was bad that i wasn't feeling ok. One of my old old friends, Im 20, Hes like 50 or somethings, was hitting on wayy sexy Models, yup they were models. He was talking to them when suddenly he stops go all the way i was sitting and ask me to ¨Help him to take a photo of them¨, i was pissed up(again my self problems), i taked the photo. My friend was like ¨Man what happened to you why you didn't hit on them¨, i didn't respond, i wasn't that ineterested even if they look like and dressed like on my teenage desire women. (Tanned skin, shinny skin, confident women, all them were fitness, Sexy talk, sexy an slutty clothes, bit boobs and big ass). Yet i wasn't that interested how i would be before i beginned this file. It's weird even when i don't feel like my self, Womens aproach me and situations ehn beatifull, sexy, and attractive womens happen around me, Heck i could be ignore them?, they begin to hug me and gave me much physical contact. (even if i don't want them)
Another thing weird one of the friends that were ignoring me when i salutate her, was like this. I considered my friend, but she couldn't resist every right moment to hug me and flirt with me. There was this point when she told me, that she wish she has One boyfriend like i was. Wtf.
I know that maybe i'm sounding a little annoying but really, sometimes this file wonder me how it can boost my confidence even when i don't feel like that. More weird thing if i aproach a girl they would act like serious around me and would begin to ignore me, i decide to stop pursuing her? i have her hitting, flirting, looking for my attention. -.-
Well that's all, there's a thing about old hobbies of mine waking up, like giving massage when i stopped studying one day because i didn't feel like doing it, and them it came back strong as before, and i was extremely happy giving massage to one of my friends.
I'm going to continue, if after the 20 day i feel more resistance again i will stop and do EPRAH. And tired of feeling good and them bam feeling depressed, i was to feel confident all the time -.-
Ok, soo today wasn't actually what i wanted. i waked confident but something bugged me latter i discovered tht for some reason i was feeling like a jerk and feel like way WAYYYY to negative, and everytime i tried to stop being negative? i get one big headache, it wasn't later that i remember reading in the forum (i don't remeber where exactly); that if you force yourself much in what you want in the file you wil begin to feel negative, and express negative. that You need to feel gratitude for how you are, and how you feel.
I was forcing my self to be confident, but that wasn't what worked in the beginning, so when i decided that i was beign confident to be a better me, things fixed. More later this day i decided to look my journal and i disocvered that in the beggining the file was going cool, but when i feel a little resistance, i begin to change my mind for something better, and appareantly this better things didn't help me at all. i decided to go back to what i was doing initially.
Quiting all this ramble lol. There were things that were very Wtf, and maybe i need coaching xD.
First i wasn't feeling ok, although people were like ignoring me and i was feeling very down. Bam a lot of girls i greet aproached me even when i didn't want to talk, some of them after greet me were very nervous because they didn't know what to do, and other just plain me ignored me; one very weird thing, maybe i was wrong but i was received with a lot of interested yet submissive stare, like the girls wanted to talk to me, but they didn't know what to do.
Another thing was that i didn want to talk this morining and then this weird and cool things happened, It was bad that i wasn't feeling ok. One of my old old friends, Im 20, Hes like 50 or somethings, was hitting on wayy sexy Models, yup they were models. He was talking to them when suddenly he stops go all the way i was sitting and ask me to ¨Help him to take a photo of them¨, i was pissed up(again my self problems), i taked the photo. My friend was like ¨Man what happened to you why you didn't hit on them¨, i didn't respond, i wasn't that ineterested even if they look like and dressed like on my teenage desire women. (Tanned skin, shinny skin, confident women, all them were fitness, Sexy talk, sexy an slutty clothes, bit boobs and big ass). Yet i wasn't that interested how i would be before i beginned this file. It's weird even when i don't feel like my self, Womens aproach me and situations ehn beatifull, sexy, and attractive womens happen around me, Heck i could be ignore them?, they begin to hug me and gave me much physical contact. (even if i don't want them)
Another thing weird one of the friends that were ignoring me when i salutate her, was like this. I considered my friend, but she couldn't resist every right moment to hug me and flirt with me. There was this point when she told me, that she wish she has One boyfriend like i was. Wtf.
I know that maybe i'm sounding a little annoying but really, sometimes this file wonder me how it can boost my confidence even when i don't feel like that. More weird thing if i aproach a girl they would act like serious around me and would begin to ignore me, i decide to stop pursuing her? i have her hitting, flirting, looking for my attention. -.-
Well that's all, there's a thing about old hobbies of mine waking up, like giving massage when i stopped studying one day because i didn't feel like doing it, and them it came back strong as before, and i was extremely happy giving massage to one of my friends.
I'm going to continue, if after the 20 day i feel more resistance again i will stop and do EPRAH. And tired of feeling good and them bam feeling depressed, i was to feel confident all the time -.-
