07-06-2014, 04:58 PM
I don't keep up on my posts as much as I did in the past. Honestly I've never been much of an openly sharing type of guy. But I figured I had some stuff on my mind and if people catch an insight off it that's cool.
Been on antidepressants for about 4 weeks now. The jury is still out if I need these long term or if I can get off of them some time later. Either way I've noticed improvements in my life. Small stuff, probably imperceptible to most people, but huge progress for me. My life still isn't really together, but I've been able to put way more energy into fixing that.
Despite depression seeming like a mental problem, long term depression physically changes the brain. The amygdala actually grows and the hippocampus shrinks. This means more fear and decreased ability to think clearly and sort out that chaos. I'm beginning to suspect my high levels of resistance were actually due to my long term depression throwing my amygdala into a hyperreactive state. Sometimes I forget that behind all that thinking and stuff is a physical structure that can be damaged. But luckily all of it can be reversed as well.
And I've realized why a lot of my posts seemed like a dog chasing it's tail in the past. The number one thing that makes depression worse is rumination. Unfortunately I tend to have a very introspective mind and I want answers and solutions. To me it was like trying to solve a puzzle with a missing piece, it drove me mad. It wasn't until I got on antidepressants and realized that you can't think yourself out of clinical depression. If you try to it only makes things worse. You just have to take action. Depression sucks, but the world keeps on spinning and you can't fall behind. Big duh for most people, but antidepressants actually gave me the ability to take action.
Ideally I'd like to solve all my issues using subliminals or without medication. But seeing as how I've been at this for 3 years and still feel like I'm having issues, I gave medication a shot. The hard part is nobody has the answers. I've actually even begun to question if negativity is actually removed from the individual's mind when they use a subliminal. Or if it's more like an overwriting with positive or neutral feelings. I seem to have more success with subs that instill new behavior than ones that remove old.
Been on antidepressants for about 4 weeks now. The jury is still out if I need these long term or if I can get off of them some time later. Either way I've noticed improvements in my life. Small stuff, probably imperceptible to most people, but huge progress for me. My life still isn't really together, but I've been able to put way more energy into fixing that.
Despite depression seeming like a mental problem, long term depression physically changes the brain. The amygdala actually grows and the hippocampus shrinks. This means more fear and decreased ability to think clearly and sort out that chaos. I'm beginning to suspect my high levels of resistance were actually due to my long term depression throwing my amygdala into a hyperreactive state. Sometimes I forget that behind all that thinking and stuff is a physical structure that can be damaged. But luckily all of it can be reversed as well.
And I've realized why a lot of my posts seemed like a dog chasing it's tail in the past. The number one thing that makes depression worse is rumination. Unfortunately I tend to have a very introspective mind and I want answers and solutions. To me it was like trying to solve a puzzle with a missing piece, it drove me mad. It wasn't until I got on antidepressants and realized that you can't think yourself out of clinical depression. If you try to it only makes things worse. You just have to take action. Depression sucks, but the world keeps on spinning and you can't fall behind. Big duh for most people, but antidepressants actually gave me the ability to take action.
Ideally I'd like to solve all my issues using subliminals or without medication. But seeing as how I've been at this for 3 years and still feel like I'm having issues, I gave medication a shot. The hard part is nobody has the answers. I've actually even begun to question if negativity is actually removed from the individual's mind when they use a subliminal. Or if it's more like an overwriting with positive or neutral feelings. I seem to have more success with subs that instill new behavior than ones that remove old.
