Hey Shannon is it advised to listen to AM6 along with your Brainwave MP3s I purchased? I'm thinking of using it long term and with a majority of the time I listen to AM. Would this cause any significant problems? Could I combine the two tracks in audacity to make them playable on my iPod? Thank you.
I'm dropping all of the personal stuff that doesn't relate directly to AM6 out of my journal and starting a blog. I didn't have the courage to do this before and Sub-Shop used to be the only place I felt like others would listen to me, but I'm now more than confident I can get an audience and I'll be able to sharpen my writing skills so I can publish some eBooks I have planned
Why am I updating twice in one day? Some really cool things happened that I believe AM6 caused, and I'm just super happy and bubbly because I got some cool new opportunities, met some cool new people, got support from family members, and discovered some problems that once I solve will give me tremendous peace. All in all it's been a great day
Being Fundamentally Flawed
I have a longstanding belief that I'm flawed at some very fundamental level. It was not something that I could ever put into words because I never really took time to understand it. When I mess up it's not because of things like "I didn't know what I was doing" or "Sometimes you fail, and thats just how life is" it's because I'm a bad person.
Someone else, who isn't me, could have done it better, or wouldn't have messed up, but I messed up because I'm me. The simple act of being me is why I mess up so much. I can see how I would have gotten this message through my childhood, and I'm actually kind of emotional as I type. This is probably the deepest seeded feeling of guilt and shame I currently have and I'm going to get to work on releasing it.
Permission Seeking
I discovered a limiting belief that really made a lot of difference when I tapped on it. It has to do with permission seeking, and when I let it go my anxiety dropped significantly. When in conversations I could never tell if I was doing well, doing everything I was supposed to be doing, acting normally and being impressive, and trying to micromanage all of these things and my general worry about them led to my anxiety. Eventually I stopped wanting to socialize and kept to myself.
My belief was that I could never assign a quality to myself unless someone validated it for me because that would be the only way I would know I was right. I actually firmly believed this up until just two hours ago! It seems crazy to consider now. This belief led me to looking for signs of what other people thought of me so I could calibrate my own self-esteem and self worth to their opinion of me. This whole situation of having to be validated by others always led me to wild swings in personality, where I could be the life of the party when I got just a little validation, and then come crashing down when people would give me neutral or negative signals. I never could tell what I actually believed in because it was always changing, either to match peoples opinion or to give me some temporary emotional boost. I always felt hopeless because I couldn't change people's opinions of me, and once I had made a bad impression I felt like that was going to be stuck there forever, and I could never wash the memory of my bad impression from my mind or the minds of anyone else. You can't argue with a memory.
I also felt victimized by having a bad past. I felt like I couldn't truly become a man because my dad never showed me how to be a man. That I could never have a good future because I didn't have a good past, and I could never change the past. Ironically I was working towards having a good future regardless of my past, but this negative belief was still there, waiting like a rubber band to snap me back to it's own subjective reality.
Being able to assign my own self-worth and validation will probably lead me to being a lot less anxious and more stable in my view of myself. I went to a party today and I felt the least anxious I had ever felt since I started getting anxious. I'm excited to tap on this some more, but tonight I rest
I also discovered some of Steve Pavlina's articles on procrastination and motivation and they seem like they would help a lot. I've struggled to become motivated and largely ignored a lot of good advice that has come my way because I thought it was too difficult. My perfectionism and belief that I was perfectly capable of becoming productive with no system (arrogance) led me to ignoring it.
I'm dropping all of the personal stuff that doesn't relate directly to AM6 out of my journal and starting a blog. I didn't have the courage to do this before and Sub-Shop used to be the only place I felt like others would listen to me, but I'm now more than confident I can get an audience and I'll be able to sharpen my writing skills so I can publish some eBooks I have planned
Why am I updating twice in one day? Some really cool things happened that I believe AM6 caused, and I'm just super happy and bubbly because I got some cool new opportunities, met some cool new people, got support from family members, and discovered some problems that once I solve will give me tremendous peace. All in all it's been a great day
Being Fundamentally Flawed
I have a longstanding belief that I'm flawed at some very fundamental level. It was not something that I could ever put into words because I never really took time to understand it. When I mess up it's not because of things like "I didn't know what I was doing" or "Sometimes you fail, and thats just how life is" it's because I'm a bad person.
Someone else, who isn't me, could have done it better, or wouldn't have messed up, but I messed up because I'm me. The simple act of being me is why I mess up so much. I can see how I would have gotten this message through my childhood, and I'm actually kind of emotional as I type. This is probably the deepest seeded feeling of guilt and shame I currently have and I'm going to get to work on releasing it.
Permission Seeking
I discovered a limiting belief that really made a lot of difference when I tapped on it. It has to do with permission seeking, and when I let it go my anxiety dropped significantly. When in conversations I could never tell if I was doing well, doing everything I was supposed to be doing, acting normally and being impressive, and trying to micromanage all of these things and my general worry about them led to my anxiety. Eventually I stopped wanting to socialize and kept to myself.
My belief was that I could never assign a quality to myself unless someone validated it for me because that would be the only way I would know I was right. I actually firmly believed this up until just two hours ago! It seems crazy to consider now. This belief led me to looking for signs of what other people thought of me so I could calibrate my own self-esteem and self worth to their opinion of me. This whole situation of having to be validated by others always led me to wild swings in personality, where I could be the life of the party when I got just a little validation, and then come crashing down when people would give me neutral or negative signals. I never could tell what I actually believed in because it was always changing, either to match peoples opinion or to give me some temporary emotional boost. I always felt hopeless because I couldn't change people's opinions of me, and once I had made a bad impression I felt like that was going to be stuck there forever, and I could never wash the memory of my bad impression from my mind or the minds of anyone else. You can't argue with a memory.
I also felt victimized by having a bad past. I felt like I couldn't truly become a man because my dad never showed me how to be a man. That I could never have a good future because I didn't have a good past, and I could never change the past. Ironically I was working towards having a good future regardless of my past, but this negative belief was still there, waiting like a rubber band to snap me back to it's own subjective reality.
Being able to assign my own self-worth and validation will probably lead me to being a lot less anxious and more stable in my view of myself. I went to a party today and I felt the least anxious I had ever felt since I started getting anxious. I'm excited to tap on this some more, but tonight I rest
I also discovered some of Steve Pavlina's articles on procrastination and motivation and they seem like they would help a lot. I've struggled to become motivated and largely ignored a lot of good advice that has come my way because I thought it was too difficult. My perfectionism and belief that I was perfectly capable of becoming productive with no system (arrogance) led me to ignoring it.
