06-07-2014, 11:58 PM
In line with being honest with myself I've decided to begin reading the classics. Guys like Tony Robbins, David Deangelo and Mark Manson will fill up my library and my spare time. I never really read these things because I felt like they were below me, even though I've never read them.
What's really frustrating for me right now is that every time I analyze certain action I've taken, like not reading those books, I realize that what drives those actions are low self esteem, arrogance, pride or past pain. With a better understanding of myself and a willingness to change I'm confronted with the fact that I'm not the person I believed I was and being a good person was the core of my self-esteem. I'm currently tapping on the belief "I have to be perfect/good/nice in order to be loved."
I'm also massively afraid of creating huge change with tapping. I'm worried that if I release certain feelings about myself it will lead to conflict with others, so I think about applying more self control and limiting myself. Then I think that maybe the changes I'm making are necessary for my growth, and that they have to be done. I'm worried about not making the right choices because of my beliefs. AM6's naturalized has done an amazing job of making my change easier, but I want to take the power into my own hands.
In examining my motivations for getting women I've realized I've done a lot of self improvement to become more attractive but not to actually pick up on girls. I just like the validation they give me, I'm not interested at all in sex. In part I believe my anxiety is made by me so I can avoid others, especially the opposite sex. The No More Mr. Nice Guy book talks about this. In being completely honest with myself, if I had wanted to lose my virginity in years prior it could have been done with not much effort on my part. It's this fear and ability to create great lies that's keeping me back.
Right now I'm seeing that it's going to require a massive change in my beliefs to get the results I want, and that's going to require a massive change of priorities for me to get there. I've definitely stepped it up from last year, but I want last year to stop being my point of comparison. I'm going to compare this month to last month and then next month to this month and so on until I reach some limit.
Currently I plan on doing Grow Taller 5G in addition to height Excercises after AM6 because I'm young and I'd like to max out my height before my growth plates close. After that I believe I will do AM6 again to build a good base for Sex Magnet and most likely continue with the AM, SM subs for a while.
What's really frustrating for me right now is that every time I analyze certain action I've taken, like not reading those books, I realize that what drives those actions are low self esteem, arrogance, pride or past pain. With a better understanding of myself and a willingness to change I'm confronted with the fact that I'm not the person I believed I was and being a good person was the core of my self-esteem. I'm currently tapping on the belief "I have to be perfect/good/nice in order to be loved."
I'm also massively afraid of creating huge change with tapping. I'm worried that if I release certain feelings about myself it will lead to conflict with others, so I think about applying more self control and limiting myself. Then I think that maybe the changes I'm making are necessary for my growth, and that they have to be done. I'm worried about not making the right choices because of my beliefs. AM6's naturalized has done an amazing job of making my change easier, but I want to take the power into my own hands.
In examining my motivations for getting women I've realized I've done a lot of self improvement to become more attractive but not to actually pick up on girls. I just like the validation they give me, I'm not interested at all in sex. In part I believe my anxiety is made by me so I can avoid others, especially the opposite sex. The No More Mr. Nice Guy book talks about this. In being completely honest with myself, if I had wanted to lose my virginity in years prior it could have been done with not much effort on my part. It's this fear and ability to create great lies that's keeping me back.
Right now I'm seeing that it's going to require a massive change in my beliefs to get the results I want, and that's going to require a massive change of priorities for me to get there. I've definitely stepped it up from last year, but I want last year to stop being my point of comparison. I'm going to compare this month to last month and then next month to this month and so on until I reach some limit.
Currently I plan on doing Grow Taller 5G in addition to height Excercises after AM6 because I'm young and I'd like to max out my height before my growth plates close. After that I believe I will do AM6 again to build a good base for Sex Magnet and most likely continue with the AM, SM subs for a while.
