Deservedness

[IronSmooth]

You might consider LTU. What you lack is not value, but self esteem, self respect and a sense of self worth, and that and other things are covered by LTU.

Thank you Shannon you are 100% right. And yes that was exactly my plan after OF. LTU is perfect, it also makes people smile more. Exactly what i need. My father is a very serious, all business no play kind of guy. I can't help but have some of his genes. But im changing all of that little by little

What i don't understand is..before AM, before OF, i was obviously in an even worse state than i am in now. But the things you mentioned weren't so pronounced as they are now. I was actually kinda happier. Maybe its OF that is bringing all this to the surface. Because after AM i was not nearly as hard on myself as i am now.
I feel that OF is something i need more than i needed any other sub so far. Ill elaborate more in the next post.