05-15-2014, 01:22 PM
After reading some journals yesterday and today I've noticed some things about myself. In the past couple months I've become more pensive. I stand up for myself more which comes across as me being and asshole. Still don't have a balance yet. I am stupid resistant to being controlled. When I went out with this girl the other day she shit tested my at least 10-20 times, so I believe that there is a bit of incongruence in my behaviour or it's the first time that I've registered them and been successful at beating them. At one point I said let's turn here. She said ok then she said actually lets walk up to the next street. Since the decision was already made I stuck to the turn and waited until she came along, but then she started shit testing me hard. She said that I give her just enough information to get her interested, but not enough to answer her questions. I'm a super huge tease and I believe I won't do this again because looking back it makes me look indecisive but I went in for a kiss, lingered for the heat and then pulled away. Then she called me a player. I was calm and I said totally, hugest player in town. I have a harem of like a hundred girls.
This exchanged continued for a bit then these asian girls walk by and I said see they are making fun of you in whatever language they speak because they are in my harem. I didn't have it in me before. I would have defended myself, denied and tried to beta my way out of it.
With that said she is a fun gal and she can sing like nobodies business (I love singers btw) so I have to make sure I'm not coming across as needy via text and such because that used to be so common a handful of months ago. I had a handle on it before AM5.0 then I wanted to connect with people so I signed back onto Faceface and then this neediness crap showed up. Now I'm distancing myself from it again apparently that has helped.
This exchanged continued for a bit then these asian girls walk by and I said see they are making fun of you in whatever language they speak because they are in my harem. I didn't have it in me before. I would have defended myself, denied and tried to beta my way out of it.
With that said she is a fun gal and she can sing like nobodies business (I love singers btw) so I have to make sure I'm not coming across as needy via text and such because that used to be so common a handful of months ago. I had a handle on it before AM5.0 then I wanted to connect with people so I signed back onto Faceface and then this neediness crap showed up. Now I'm distancing myself from it again apparently that has helped.
