Revisiting guilt, shame, and fear

[mat422]

When that happens (when you start being in a "loop") the best remedy is to become aware of it and notice what you're doing/feeling/thinking without judgement. Accept it, and say to yourself "I have/feel X inside of me." You don't need to "work on it", believe it or not.

So, in your example, instead of saying: "I felt really tense. Kind of had a tension in my chest too. The whole time I just wanted to get away."

It would serve you better to become aware of the why's, like so:

"I have tension inside of me, kind of in my chest too. I also have fear inside of me." like that. No identification and NO judgement. Just be aware.

Do NOT say to yourself "I'm X", the problem is when you identify it as yourself. I don't know how much meditation you've done in your life, but when you do it for a while, it becomes clear pretty fast that thoughts and feelings are just normal processes that happen in the body, much like your heart beat or metabolism.

Now, you don't identify with your heart beat, it just happens. Same with your thoughts and emotions. They only hold you captive if YOU let them by identifying with them.

Food for thought.

Gotcha, I'll keep that in mind.