02-13-2014, 08:41 PM
Had a few thoughts today. I sat down and asked myself what I really wanted out of life. And not just the whole career thing. What I found was a lot of fear. I didn't want to be depressed, I didn't want to be alone, I didn't want to suffer, I didn't want to struggle, I didn't want to have my life a complete mess. So what did I want? It's a pretty small list. I find that my life has pretty much revolved around dealing with my issues and I never really made any time for what I actually want.
I think one of my biggest wants right now is to get better at making music and get to a point where my music can be enjoyed by others. I love those feelings music can evoke in people or take them away to a different world. Music has and always will be my passion. Sometimes the spark does go away though. But focusing on what I want out of my music helps keep that passion alive somewhat. It's better than focusing on the negative and the fear based thoughts.
Aside from that, not much. I would like a job that I enjoy that pays enough for me to support myself. That would make me feel better as well. But right now I feel like I'm still stuck in survival mode and I have to keep focusing on what I want to gradually pull myself away from that vortex of negativity.
I think one of my biggest wants right now is to get better at making music and get to a point where my music can be enjoyed by others. I love those feelings music can evoke in people or take them away to a different world. Music has and always will be my passion. Sometimes the spark does go away though. But focusing on what I want out of my music helps keep that passion alive somewhat. It's better than focusing on the negative and the fear based thoughts.
Aside from that, not much. I would like a job that I enjoy that pays enough for me to support myself. That would make me feel better as well. But right now I feel like I'm still stuck in survival mode and I have to keep focusing on what I want to gradually pull myself away from that vortex of negativity.
