Alpha 5.0

[mat422]

Makes a lot of sense. Nobody likes wearing a mask.

On a side note, man the resistance I've been dealing with is through the roof. And it's been sneaking in, that's the worst part. I'm writing this because I really need to get this out so it doesn't fester up inside my head. I keep having these feelings that subliminals don't work and I'm not addressing the real problems and I'm fighting a losing battle. I kept contemplating leaving behind subliminals and just working on healing core issues. I got into this thought loop of questioning if my desire to be an alpha male is due to insecurity and maybe if I healed that insecurity I wouldn't need subliminals. If this path is really the right one for me. I honestly can't tell what's genuine feelings vs resistance at this point.

Truth be told I think part of the reason why I really dislike running these subliminals is the possibility of failure. Resistance is me, I'm resisting. And when I resist and changes don't take place I feel like a failure. But I'm stuck, and I've been stuck for a while. And recently I've realized that I don't handle emotions very well. I kind of go out-of-body, hard to describe but I just dissociate and detach. I think this is one of my defense mechanisms. To actually feel the emotions makes me more grounded, but there is a lot of pain there and I don't know if I can really handle it.

But it's all related to what the subliminal is doing, not the subliminals themselves. Like I'd probably take to a healthier eating sub no problem because in my mind that seems incredibly easy. I think the AM 5.0 subject matter is just really sensitive to me and it's been triggering a lot of emotional issues that are overwhelming me to the point where I'm not functioning all that well.

Well, AM 6 has the emotional healing, and then you could always use emotional healing all on it's own when it's released. I'm curious as to why you think it's one or the other though? Subliminals or self-development. Why not both? Seems to me you take the approach of "if the subs work, I won't try to help myself" course, you have to use them, not just listen to them.

What I'm doing now is proceeding with my life as if I were not listening to the sub at all, that way it takes my focus off it.

Honestly, it seems like you want something or someone else to fix your issues, but it's you, and only you. Even if you use subliminals, it's you that has to change. Can't play the blame game for the rest of your life. It's important to keep yourself from being a victim, this includes being a victim of yourself.

One thing I've noticed from tapping is that there's no end to problems if you look for them. Literally no end at all. You have to focus on something else if you want a different result.

Ever play the color game? Someone tells you to look for a color behind you. Let's say blue. Pick out all the things that you see that are blue behind you. Then turn back to the computer screen.

Now, tell me everything you saw that was yellow. You won't remember anything that was yellow, but if it was behind you and you look again, you'll spot it immediately.

Same thing works for our emotions, thinking, states, you name it. It's all in the mind.

That's the way my mind has always worked. I'm constantly running through possibilities and filtering out stuff that doesn't work. It was just me contemplating if running the subliminals was making things worse for me rather than better. It's not that I'm not trying to help myself, it's that I'm trying to help myself in the most successful way possible. There's always been a tendency for me to compare myself to others and I'd take on more than I could handle for my current level of growth. It's better to make small changes and get better than take on big changes and just fall flat on my face.

I'm not gonna dispute that. At the same time I can't just throw myself into the deep end, it's never worked for me. I've gotta build up to it.

Yeah, same thing happened to me with tapping.

Good point. I guess that's why it's always important to focus on what you want and not what you don't want.