Alpha 5.0

[mat422]

I think the key is acceptance.

When I accept my negativity and bad moods, and don't try to repress or change it, I actually am able to have a lot more fun and enjoy myself. People respond well to this as well.

As my coach says, negativity isn't about being in a good or bad mood, it's somewhat like that "beating yourself up" you talked about. As long as you're progressing (I figure) you're positive.

As a culture, it seems we put too much importance on being in a "good mood". I believe this is just because other people don't want to be reminded of how bad they often feel. My theory is that when someone comes along and can be "real" by owning their bad feelings, it is like a freedom call to all those who are around. They know it's ok to be in a bad mood or whatever because "that guy does it". Make sense?

Either way, always be true to yourself.

Glad to hear you're making some progress.

Makes a lot of sense. Nobody likes wearing a mask.

On a side note, man the resistance I've been dealing with is through the roof. And it's been sneaking in, that's the worst part. I'm writing this because I really need to get this out so it doesn't fester up inside my head. I keep having these feelings that subliminals don't work and I'm not addressing the real problems and I'm fighting a losing battle. I kept contemplating leaving behind subliminals and just working on healing core issues. I got into this thought loop of questioning if my desire to be an alpha male is due to insecurity and maybe if I healed that insecurity I wouldn't need subliminals. If this path is really the right one for me. I honestly can't tell what's genuine feelings vs resistance at this point.

Truth be told I think part of the reason why I really dislike running these subliminals is the possibility of failure. Resistance is me, I'm resisting. And when I resist and changes don't take place I feel like a failure. But I'm stuck, and I've been stuck for a while. And recently I've realized that I don't handle emotions very well. I kind of go out-of-body, hard to describe but I just dissociate and detach. I think this is one of my defense mechanisms. To actually feel the emotions makes me more grounded, but there is a lot of pain there and I don't know if I can really handle it.

But it's all related to what the subliminal is doing, not the subliminals themselves. Like I'd probably take to a healthier eating sub no problem because in my mind that seems incredibly easy. I think the AM 5.0 subject matter is just really sensitive to me and it's been triggering a lot of emotional issues that are overwhelming me to the point where I'm not functioning all that well.