12-09-2013, 12:19 PM
Well I'm unemployed now and today instead of dealing with all that anxiety and feelings of hopelessness, I took action with FEFT. For pretty much 3 hours straight.
I gotta say my primary coping mechanism is distraction. TV, music, internet, food, whatever. Anything to distance myself from my emotions. And I realized today I've been in heavy denial. The most common advice I got growing up was to just take action, have a plan, keep pushing, face the fear, etc. You get the picture. Eventually I locked up every single painful memory I had and just ran from them. Anytime something popped up and bothered me I'd just focus on the future instead, which unsurprisingly caused me a lot of anxiety and depression. At first I thought it was the future itself. But I realized today it's my past being projected into the future and living through that filter.
So one by one I went back to these memories. And it was painful. I just wanted to quit mid session because I felt going any deeper I'd start uprooting a lot worse stuff. It's crazy how detached you can become to your emotions and not even realize their effect on you.
I cleared out a lot of stuff today. I'm by no means cured, but when I look to the future and notice negativity, I know to go into my past again and clear out more stuff. Honestly, nothing traumatic happened to me compared to other individuals. But I've always been incredibly sensitive and I believe that I've been impacted by these past memories more than I think.
As far as FEFT goes. I'm a harsh critic and this is the first healing tool I've come across that actually makes sense to me. I've been watching Robert's videos and it's amazing to watch him in action because he knows what he's doing. I'll continue exploring FEFT.
I gotta say my primary coping mechanism is distraction. TV, music, internet, food, whatever. Anything to distance myself from my emotions. And I realized today I've been in heavy denial. The most common advice I got growing up was to just take action, have a plan, keep pushing, face the fear, etc. You get the picture. Eventually I locked up every single painful memory I had and just ran from them. Anytime something popped up and bothered me I'd just focus on the future instead, which unsurprisingly caused me a lot of anxiety and depression. At first I thought it was the future itself. But I realized today it's my past being projected into the future and living through that filter.
So one by one I went back to these memories. And it was painful. I just wanted to quit mid session because I felt going any deeper I'd start uprooting a lot worse stuff. It's crazy how detached you can become to your emotions and not even realize their effect on you.
I cleared out a lot of stuff today. I'm by no means cured, but when I look to the future and notice negativity, I know to go into my past again and clear out more stuff. Honestly, nothing traumatic happened to me compared to other individuals. But I've always been incredibly sensitive and I believe that I've been impacted by these past memories more than I think.
As far as FEFT goes. I'm a harsh critic and this is the first healing tool I've come across that actually makes sense to me. I've been watching Robert's videos and it's amazing to watch him in action because he knows what he's doing. I'll continue exploring FEFT.
