12-08-2013, 10:01 AM
(12-07-2013, 08:39 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote:(12-07-2013, 06:56 PM)mat422 Wrote: This is just me, but sometimes you can't control what happens. We're only human, we aren't gods. I am very controlling and it's a habit I've been trying to break. It may sound like giving myself over to chance/fate, but I see it more as accepting things for what they are and addressing them instead of being so in denial I make no progress. Similar to the scene in Fight Club where he tells him to let go of the wheel. But it could just be me swinging to the other extreme, maybe I just haven't reached equilibrium yet.
I know what you're saying. Unfortunately my goals aren't as simple as just getting more women. I'm struggling with living in this world. I feel like I'm behind all the time and I can't catch up. I don't know how to describe it, but it's become a chore to live life. The negatives seem to be outweighing the positives. I'm working on this, but like I said it's getting serious. Every day I've been waking up with anxiety because I'm worried that I won't be able to support myself or I'm one step away from a complete mental breakdown.
I love that scene in Fight Club, but I find it empowering rather than "letting go".
Have you tried FEFT at all or read Geodude's posts?
I gotta say, unless you are imprisoned against your will or something else beyond your control, EVERYTHING you experience IS in your control, and is a direct result of your beliefs/mindset.
I myself used to have depression. I was given anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, all manner of drugs for it. I even went to a psychologist for my depression that I had for well over 10 years (can't remember the exact amount of time, it started after a near-death experience/traumatic experience I had when I was 8 years old, and got worse with time) so, believe me when I say that I KNOW when things are bad and we have no control over them.
My response was much the same as yours, I feared losing control again so I became controlling, closed off, and isolate. Depression sank in hard and I became suicidal. This all happened from ages 8-12.
When I decided suicide was not an option (because I felt no one would care about losing me, and I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of having me out of their lives. Yes, it was THAT bad) I lived life as a brainless delinquent. Worked at a fast-food place instead of going to university, and had no ambition nor care to ever move on with my life.
Over the next few years, after my uncle brought me into his company, I slowly made the changes till it hit me one day that I was SICK of being depressed, sick of being a victim, and wanted a GOOD life.
I didn't see any proof or hope that my life could get better, but I decided it WOULD because I was not going to let it control me anymore.
As time went on, I learned about things that helped put me back in control of my life, and here I am now.
So, unless you have a story worse than mine (and EVEN if you do) there is no reason you can't have EVERYTHING you want. You just have to look for ways to achieve it.
Heck, I've even heard of Jews who survived death camps who come back to lead productive and happy lives. If they can do it, so can we, especially with subliminals, FEFT and all this other stuff that no one knew about back then.
It's ALL in your mind dude, seriously. Learn how to effect the change, there's nothing else.
The whole reason you post on here is because, deep down, you believe there is a way out of this, or you wouldn't still be searching. Don't use your searching as a road block, use it as a force to drive you to excel.
There's nothing to be ashamed of, we all have our demons, but demons exist so that we can overcome them, NOT to keep us down.
Depression exists because of something WRONG, not because it wants to keep you from doing right.
It's a SIGNAL to action, not a muzzle.
Hope this helps.
EDIT: Here's a video from an FEFT practitioner about how people dwell on what they say they don't like.
If you have no understanding of FEFT it's ok, I think just what he says about how people focus on what they say they hate is enough to maybe show you a different way to look at your issues.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wr_gMVIeuI
Haven't tried it. Honestly I'm really put off by a lot of self help techniques these days. But I watched that video and it seems like something I can actually get behind. So I'll look into it more.
Don't get me wrong I'm not giving up. I'm just trying something different. This stuff has gotten too out of hand for me to manage on my own. I've been at this self help thing since I was 14 and I'm 22 now. Clearly something isn't working and I'd be a fool not to take a different approach.
I've never once doubted that there was a way out of this, I've always had hope for a better life. The problem has always been just reaching that. Even when things are bad I know there's an answer and that keeps me going.