12-05-2013, 06:52 AM
Day 14
I've noticed some subtle benefits
1) Better self esteem and self acceptance - this has taken the form of realising that whilst i know i'm flawed it's in my power to better myself, and anyway slipping into a spiral of dispair won't help, and it's not worth paying attention to self criticism passed a certain point.
2) feeling of personal responsibility and a healthier desire to be productive - rather than working from fear i'm looking more to work from a values perspective, i've never been so strong in having core values, but now I'm practicing working from the thought that it's better to work and perform from a sense of valuing yourself and your responsibility to better yourself than from a state of fearing that you'll screw up all the time - this isn't as strong as i'd like it to be but it's something i want to build on.
Out of nowhere i decided to start seeking positive influences, particularly from books, i've always been a hound for self help books but something made me feel that there would be more value from novels. I started reading Ayn Rand , and I have to say it has helped me to be more decisive and not fear being narrow in my goals in the world - which i think is hugely important to success in anything (at the moment)
My main problem is that, though i'm better, I'm still very indecisive, have low energy and procrastinate alot. I'm having problems with breaking bad habits which send me into a kind of trance and eat away at my concentration and time.
I'm also quite afraid of engaging socially still.
I've been trying to do some FEFT thanks to Geodude's posts, with small amounts of success, i'm not sure if i'ts working most of the time and am considering getting a real live feft coach/booking a session since i've heard so much about its effectiveness.
Ah and an interesting development - i seem to be ok having funny conversations with girls, and generally being a little flirty, its still awkward because i get stuck in my head or the add kicks in and i zone out, but it seems i'm letting these issues get in the way of me trying less and less - perhaps this is to do with the OGSF?
I really want the self discipline and anti procrastination parts to take root - hope they do soon!
I've noticed some subtle benefits
1) Better self esteem and self acceptance - this has taken the form of realising that whilst i know i'm flawed it's in my power to better myself, and anyway slipping into a spiral of dispair won't help, and it's not worth paying attention to self criticism passed a certain point.
2) feeling of personal responsibility and a healthier desire to be productive - rather than working from fear i'm looking more to work from a values perspective, i've never been so strong in having core values, but now I'm practicing working from the thought that it's better to work and perform from a sense of valuing yourself and your responsibility to better yourself than from a state of fearing that you'll screw up all the time - this isn't as strong as i'd like it to be but it's something i want to build on.
Out of nowhere i decided to start seeking positive influences, particularly from books, i've always been a hound for self help books but something made me feel that there would be more value from novels. I started reading Ayn Rand , and I have to say it has helped me to be more decisive and not fear being narrow in my goals in the world - which i think is hugely important to success in anything (at the moment)
My main problem is that, though i'm better, I'm still very indecisive, have low energy and procrastinate alot. I'm having problems with breaking bad habits which send me into a kind of trance and eat away at my concentration and time.
I'm also quite afraid of engaging socially still.
I've been trying to do some FEFT thanks to Geodude's posts, with small amounts of success, i'm not sure if i'ts working most of the time and am considering getting a real live feft coach/booking a session since i've heard so much about its effectiveness.
Ah and an interesting development - i seem to be ok having funny conversations with girls, and generally being a little flirty, its still awkward because i get stuck in my head or the add kicks in and i zone out, but it seems i'm letting these issues get in the way of me trying less and less - perhaps this is to do with the OGSF?
I really want the self discipline and anti procrastination parts to take root - hope they do soon!
Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
