11-19-2013, 07:51 PM
Stage 1, Day 23 (the 18th of November)
I was sent home relatively early to work remotely, since there was no place for me Monday. I had a long walk back, through heavy winds, a near-hail storm, on a 1/2 mile long bridge complete with highway (fun!).
At home, around 2-3pm, I kept getting the feeling that something was going very wrong, and I couldn't shake it (like the yucky feeling, opposite of success or sexy). I felt like checking my mailbox around that time and find a letter saying that I have to start paying back my student loans.
So I panic, since I don't have to yet, AND my parents have already seen me as financially irresponsible back in the summer, so I want to settle this quickly. I head down to my bank, and the teller told me to call them right away (I was set to start paying on the 30th of Nov). I call, and it turns out that my application to financial aid was enough to prove that I'm a student, and all I had to do to put everything back to normal was to pay the tiny bit of interest that accumulated (nearly 6$). Sigh of relief for everybody.
After that, I find an event for Bachata dancing online (feeling much more relaxed), and have resolve that I will go (around 6:30 a few blocks away). After a self-cooked meal, I head over, and I dance with all the women; it was a rotation.
I specifically connect with an Iranian woman (which has happened before; Iranian woman have this aura of femininity that I enjoy). During the social dance, I pick her out a couple times (between the other women), and we chat. At one point, I ask "what do you like the most about Canada?", and she replies "the peace". Wow. That hit me pretty hard.
She kept saying that she'll remember my name for Facebook, but kept checking with me by spelling it, and she kept getting it wrong (lol). It was cute, and she finally wrote it down. We might go to a Blues dance lesson at the same place. It was a great dance lesson.
Afterwards, I got the feeling that people were on my case. Maybe people are hating, and that's messing with my Chi. Who knows..
I finally figured out my placement, and its connection with my class work; basically, this placement is connected to the class notes, which I could use as a checklist to make sure I've covered everything. No more uncertainty.
I want to develop a better sleeping habit, so I'm adding an extra hour (which started the 19) to my sleeping. My being tired does hold me back in the early afternoon (around 2-3 pm).
Eating a later supper, I feel a rough CRUNCH; I may have broken off a small chip of my back top right molar; I couldn't tell with a simple wall mirror. I'll be scheduling a dentist's appointment and see what they say.
A friend of mine put up a study about men and masculinity that had me feel slighted. It wouldn't've been an issue, BUT, it was right around International Men's Day, so I contacted her asking that she consider what she wrote given the circumstances. She gave a pretty articulate logic behind her posting, though she didn't know about the day, so she agreed to remove it.
I'm having this distinction between avoiding the feeling of negative consequences, and avoiding the feeling of PAIN associated to negative consequences. I suppose my body goes into the feeling of extreme discomfort when I'm doing something against my higher good.
For example, nowadays, when my nails get too long, I get VERY uncomfortable until they're cut. Same goes for some sorts of school work; I feel bad until I take care of it. I'd prefer to do it out of intrinsic desire, but the program is what it is, and I react to it the way I should.
Stage 1, Day 24 (Today, November 19)
Nothing major to report. I had a rather productive day on one hand, but certain aspects depends on the technician, and she's been pretty busy, so it was still held back. I helped where I could, like taking the technician's spot on the kitchen assembly line, since I had nothing left to do, and she had a lot to do, so it made sense.
I'm closing holes in my co-op manual, but some sections require her help. So I do require some blocks of 10-15 minutes at a time. I did not like that we didn't meet when we said we would; in fact, we didn't meet at all. But given the circumstances, it's completely understandable.
I met two of the people I met on my first day of the new co-op. We talked about Zelda some more, but then we starting talking about hobbies and real stuff. I have their information now, so I'll add them on Facebook.
Got some practice in FLR Korean. After work, I knocked off some parts of a major project, and I downloaded some Anki decks in various languages, for future reference. So I feel good.
Stage 2 is starting next Wednesday, if I'm not mistaken.
I was sent home relatively early to work remotely, since there was no place for me Monday. I had a long walk back, through heavy winds, a near-hail storm, on a 1/2 mile long bridge complete with highway (fun!).
At home, around 2-3pm, I kept getting the feeling that something was going very wrong, and I couldn't shake it (like the yucky feeling, opposite of success or sexy). I felt like checking my mailbox around that time and find a letter saying that I have to start paying back my student loans.
So I panic, since I don't have to yet, AND my parents have already seen me as financially irresponsible back in the summer, so I want to settle this quickly. I head down to my bank, and the teller told me to call them right away (I was set to start paying on the 30th of Nov). I call, and it turns out that my application to financial aid was enough to prove that I'm a student, and all I had to do to put everything back to normal was to pay the tiny bit of interest that accumulated (nearly 6$). Sigh of relief for everybody.
After that, I find an event for Bachata dancing online (feeling much more relaxed), and have resolve that I will go (around 6:30 a few blocks away). After a self-cooked meal, I head over, and I dance with all the women; it was a rotation.
I specifically connect with an Iranian woman (which has happened before; Iranian woman have this aura of femininity that I enjoy). During the social dance, I pick her out a couple times (between the other women), and we chat. At one point, I ask "what do you like the most about Canada?", and she replies "the peace". Wow. That hit me pretty hard.
She kept saying that she'll remember my name for Facebook, but kept checking with me by spelling it, and she kept getting it wrong (lol). It was cute, and she finally wrote it down. We might go to a Blues dance lesson at the same place. It was a great dance lesson.
Afterwards, I got the feeling that people were on my case. Maybe people are hating, and that's messing with my Chi. Who knows..
I finally figured out my placement, and its connection with my class work; basically, this placement is connected to the class notes, which I could use as a checklist to make sure I've covered everything. No more uncertainty.
I want to develop a better sleeping habit, so I'm adding an extra hour (which started the 19) to my sleeping. My being tired does hold me back in the early afternoon (around 2-3 pm).
Eating a later supper, I feel a rough CRUNCH; I may have broken off a small chip of my back top right molar; I couldn't tell with a simple wall mirror. I'll be scheduling a dentist's appointment and see what they say.
A friend of mine put up a study about men and masculinity that had me feel slighted. It wouldn't've been an issue, BUT, it was right around International Men's Day, so I contacted her asking that she consider what she wrote given the circumstances. She gave a pretty articulate logic behind her posting, though she didn't know about the day, so she agreed to remove it.
I'm having this distinction between avoiding the feeling of negative consequences, and avoiding the feeling of PAIN associated to negative consequences. I suppose my body goes into the feeling of extreme discomfort when I'm doing something against my higher good.
For example, nowadays, when my nails get too long, I get VERY uncomfortable until they're cut. Same goes for some sorts of school work; I feel bad until I take care of it. I'd prefer to do it out of intrinsic desire, but the program is what it is, and I react to it the way I should.
Stage 1, Day 24 (Today, November 19)
Nothing major to report. I had a rather productive day on one hand, but certain aspects depends on the technician, and she's been pretty busy, so it was still held back. I helped where I could, like taking the technician's spot on the kitchen assembly line, since I had nothing left to do, and she had a lot to do, so it made sense.
I'm closing holes in my co-op manual, but some sections require her help. So I do require some blocks of 10-15 minutes at a time. I did not like that we didn't meet when we said we would; in fact, we didn't meet at all. But given the circumstances, it's completely understandable.
I met two of the people I met on my first day of the new co-op. We talked about Zelda some more, but then we starting talking about hobbies and real stuff. I have their information now, so I'll add them on Facebook.
Got some practice in FLR Korean. After work, I knocked off some parts of a major project, and I downloaded some Anki decks in various languages, for future reference. So I feel good.
Stage 2 is starting next Wednesday, if I'm not mistaken.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
