Last night I felt like I regressed emotional and confidence wise for the first time in a long time. I felt good starting out but as the night progressed I had that, not feeling good in my own skin feeling. I kept trying to analyze why I was feeling this way but the only thing I kept coming back to was that I just felt like the whole night was a push.
I went to my best friends daughters art exhibit. I love her talent and was really looking forward to going. But from the minute I got in my friends car, I was tripping over my words and saying things that I feel were just to talk type things. That's not me. We did laugh most of the way there because using a car navigational system while driving is nuts! But that was really the only thing that didn't feel weird.
My friend is absolutely stunning. She has a great figure and an awesome personality, I just love her. She's a blast to hang out with or even just talk on the phone....we can laugh about nothing for hours. But I think what I felt last night being with her was insecurity and I don't know why. She's not someone that grew into her beauty, she was born that way. She has 3 siblings and I always thought my kids reminded me of her family growing up. They were always hilarious when together, same as mine.
It might sound like a jealousy type of thing, but that's not it. I'm not really a jealous or envious type of person. I just felt that recently my words had been flowing very easily, almost too much. haha But last night I felt like I had to really think to say anything, let alone make it something funny. Interestingly, I had just been out with her last month and I didn't feel any of this. She in fact seemed more fumbly, knocking over water glasses and just seeming uncomfortable in her own skin, which is highly unusual for her. Not that I want either of us to be uncomfortable, it was just what I observed.
I don't know whether it was a reaction from being with her or just coincidental and something the sub is just working on.
I also had a couple of glasses of wine. I don't usual drink anymore and whenever I do, I just think more and more that alcohol is evil! lol
But I even reverted back to that, thinking I just needed a little to unwind or relax, which is not usually my mentality anymore.
I have a very busy social weekend coming up and I'm just hoping this uneasy feeling smooths out a little.
I went to my best friends daughters art exhibit. I love her talent and was really looking forward to going. But from the minute I got in my friends car, I was tripping over my words and saying things that I feel were just to talk type things. That's not me. We did laugh most of the way there because using a car navigational system while driving is nuts! But that was really the only thing that didn't feel weird.
My friend is absolutely stunning. She has a great figure and an awesome personality, I just love her. She's a blast to hang out with or even just talk on the phone....we can laugh about nothing for hours. But I think what I felt last night being with her was insecurity and I don't know why. She's not someone that grew into her beauty, she was born that way. She has 3 siblings and I always thought my kids reminded me of her family growing up. They were always hilarious when together, same as mine.
It might sound like a jealousy type of thing, but that's not it. I'm not really a jealous or envious type of person. I just felt that recently my words had been flowing very easily, almost too much. haha But last night I felt like I had to really think to say anything, let alone make it something funny. Interestingly, I had just been out with her last month and I didn't feel any of this. She in fact seemed more fumbly, knocking over water glasses and just seeming uncomfortable in her own skin, which is highly unusual for her. Not that I want either of us to be uncomfortable, it was just what I observed.
I don't know whether it was a reaction from being with her or just coincidental and something the sub is just working on.
I also had a couple of glasses of wine. I don't usual drink anymore and whenever I do, I just think more and more that alcohol is evil! lol
But I even reverted back to that, thinking I just needed a little to unwind or relax, which is not usually my mentality anymore.
I have a very busy social weekend coming up and I'm just hoping this uneasy feeling smooths out a little.
If you're searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror!
