09-17-2010, 09:44 AM
Personally I only see guilt as worrying about situations/events that happened in the past, while you're fantasizing about what you should've, could've or would've done to supposedly create a better outcome that you didn't foresee or were too scared/fearful to take at that time. You can also reverse it and blame what other people should've, could've or would've done better in a certain situation to you.
Every time you say "I should have done this", or "I could've done this!" you're just creating a fantasy for yourself. The event already happened, and you acted upon in the best way that you could do at that time. And fantasizing about a different or better outcome won't make any difference. It's great to think about the situation and grow from it, knowing that you won't make the same mistake again, or know that you won't let people make that mistake to you ever again. But accept that it happened and that you or other people, acted in their best behalve, and that all the fantasizing in the world will not make the past change.
But if you're playing that same situation in your mind over and over again, you're just making yourself miserable, time and time again, and nobody will gain anything from that. It's not currency you can use to better a situation, like "Oh, I burned down your house, but I'm feeling pretty guilty about it!".
Also guilt is a powerful manipulator. Be wary of your mothers!
Every time you say "I should have done this", or "I could've done this!" you're just creating a fantasy for yourself. The event already happened, and you acted upon in the best way that you could do at that time. And fantasizing about a different or better outcome won't make any difference. It's great to think about the situation and grow from it, knowing that you won't make the same mistake again, or know that you won't let people make that mistake to you ever again. But accept that it happened and that you or other people, acted in their best behalve, and that all the fantasizing in the world will not make the past change.
But if you're playing that same situation in your mind over and over again, you're just making yourself miserable, time and time again, and nobody will gain anything from that. It's not currency you can use to better a situation, like "Oh, I burned down your house, but I'm feeling pretty guilty about it!".
Also guilt is a powerful manipulator. Be wary of your mothers!
