09-20-2013, 08:20 PM
Just have to say if there's one thing I absolutely want to get rid of, it's my perfectionism. I've gone through phases. Originally I thought it gave me an edge. I'd look at things deeper, take time to understand, craft my work in the finest way possible. But then I saw it as a double edged sword. Now I feel as if perfectionism has absolutely no place in my life. I read an article today that perfectly described how perfectionism differs from high achievers. Perfectionists are pushed, we are pushed by the fear of failure to do something. There is passion there, but for the most part we live in fear of not measuring up. High achievers are pulled. They take that passion and let it energize them. Along the way they are happy with whatever progress they make. Now a result of this is perfectionist will procrastinate and high achievers will keep working towards their goal because it's fueled by enjoyment, not fear.
Right now whenever I make music I put my focus on enjoying it. Even if I make the most awful music, if I enjoyed it then it was a learning experience and gave me that creative outlet I need. This is really hard because something screams in me that I need to suffer or be overly critical about my music otherwise I won't grow or get better. But it's such a lie. I see that now. I'd make more progress if I fostered my creativity along the way instead of just stomping it out after every little mistake. I'll admit that there is a little bit of fear also. Mostly fear that I might become complacent and fall under the delusion that my work is great and then stop seeking improvements. But one thing is for certain, I can't live my life like this anymore. Perfectionism has got to go.
Right now whenever I make music I put my focus on enjoying it. Even if I make the most awful music, if I enjoyed it then it was a learning experience and gave me that creative outlet I need. This is really hard because something screams in me that I need to suffer or be overly critical about my music otherwise I won't grow or get better. But it's such a lie. I see that now. I'd make more progress if I fostered my creativity along the way instead of just stomping it out after every little mistake. I'll admit that there is a little bit of fear also. Mostly fear that I might become complacent and fall under the delusion that my work is great and then stop seeking improvements. But one thing is for certain, I can't live my life like this anymore. Perfectionism has got to go.
