09-15-2013, 03:26 AM
Stage 3 day 16
Had a dream last night ... i was fighting with some kind of "fish" like creature and at end fish poped out - i ate it ... and bone stuck in my mouth - the bone was like my height ( belive me funny situation ) and i was pulling it out of me ... and when i pulled it out it looked like tyranosaurus rex bone.
Still looking for ways to get out of country because of my non EU/US citizenship - going trough cause right now. I am going to buy Ultra Sucess to help me with this - but have to finish AM ( and as i read they cant be combined together)
Alpha male is playing around 14h per day (8 during sleep) and 6 during day)
So what is new - i started having new moments with myself - they are totally new. It happes to me that i start thinking someting with myself - that i caught myself couple of times - that everything around me dissapaers. Like i am the only person out there - and noone else. Its not that kind of thinking "oh how will i act, oh what to do in front of girl"
Its like i am with myself and not carring whats around me - got couple of times so shut down that some loud noise, light or someting got me back - and i thought to myself "Where was i?"
Last night i was talking with hot girl and she was telling me something - i got so shut down, (like i went somewhere else ) and at one moment she asked me "Are you here? Where are you? and it was like splash of cold water - i again asked myself "Where was i ?" and todl her "No i am listetning to u" ( even though i dont reamember a thing she said )
- Feeling of everyone is hating me is coming back, i feel like nobody likes me and that i am a sh*t. Yesterday got in fight - i am really trying to control myself but its not working - I tried being polite but then i said something that i meant (to much belive me ) and of course other side started fighting with me. But i said i dont give a fuck to them ( and meant that ) - "Fix yourself and then we cant talk"
- In meantime i started going out - and got rejected by 2 girls ( it wasnt a reject but girls tend to get affraid of me ) so they are always trying to find escape way "Oh i want sure" and than tomoorow they send me message/or dont send that they cant - when i get that kind of flake ( who doesnt if someone doesnt get at least 20 flakes per year they have never been trying to get girls ) i am alywas on point and tell them how rude they are "
This time i didnt care what they said - just replied "I dont give a damn, learn how to act like normal person and than we can talk"
one of them was shocked... and asked me "What do you want to say"
Just replied immediatly
"That u are without manners, my time costs - u could have sent message that u are not coming - see u in some other life"
thats it pretty much for new stuff.
I am confronting every little thing that is not okay.
Had a dream last night ... i was fighting with some kind of "fish" like creature and at end fish poped out - i ate it ... and bone stuck in my mouth - the bone was like my height ( belive me funny situation ) and i was pulling it out of me ... and when i pulled it out it looked like tyranosaurus rex bone.
Still looking for ways to get out of country because of my non EU/US citizenship - going trough cause right now. I am going to buy Ultra Sucess to help me with this - but have to finish AM ( and as i read they cant be combined together)
Alpha male is playing around 14h per day (8 during sleep) and 6 during day)
So what is new - i started having new moments with myself - they are totally new. It happes to me that i start thinking someting with myself - that i caught myself couple of times - that everything around me dissapaers. Like i am the only person out there - and noone else. Its not that kind of thinking "oh how will i act, oh what to do in front of girl"
Its like i am with myself and not carring whats around me - got couple of times so shut down that some loud noise, light or someting got me back - and i thought to myself "Where was i?"
Last night i was talking with hot girl and she was telling me something - i got so shut down, (like i went somewhere else ) and at one moment she asked me "Are you here? Where are you? and it was like splash of cold water - i again asked myself "Where was i ?" and todl her "No i am listetning to u" ( even though i dont reamember a thing she said )
- Feeling of everyone is hating me is coming back, i feel like nobody likes me and that i am a sh*t. Yesterday got in fight - i am really trying to control myself but its not working - I tried being polite but then i said something that i meant (to much belive me ) and of course other side started fighting with me. But i said i dont give a fuck to them ( and meant that ) - "Fix yourself and then we cant talk"
- In meantime i started going out - and got rejected by 2 girls ( it wasnt a reject but girls tend to get affraid of me ) so they are always trying to find escape way "Oh i want sure" and than tomoorow they send me message/or dont send that they cant - when i get that kind of flake ( who doesnt if someone doesnt get at least 20 flakes per year they have never been trying to get girls ) i am alywas on point and tell them how rude they are "
This time i didnt care what they said - just replied "I dont give a damn, learn how to act like normal person and than we can talk"
one of them was shocked... and asked me "What do you want to say"
Just replied immediatly
"That u are without manners, my time costs - u could have sent message that u are not coming - see u in some other life"
thats it pretty much for new stuff.
I am confronting every little thing that is not okay.
