08-25-2013, 02:13 PM
So I've been thinking about more stuff. Which is funny because thinking is my defense mechanism. Logic has always been my weapon to combat negative feelings, unfortunately that's not the best response for negative beliefs and such. I've been trying to go deeper and pull out negative beliefs that I think might be holding me back. And I think that maybe my reluctance to change is just a form of procrastination, which is fueled by fear which is connected to fearing failure. But I'm sure it goes deeper than that. All I know is, facing those negative beliefs is not an easy thing.
I was working on some music today. Now I know most stuff in life doesn't come easy, there's always gonna be some challenge. But as I sat there at my computer today I realized one thing. The only thing holding me back from progress is the fear of failure. There is no such thing as writers block, there's always ideas. They may not be good ideas, but that shouldn't stop me from experimenting with that. Now most people would advise me to just keep pushing and plow through the fear. But here's the thing. I constantly feel like getting up and walking away in the middle of a song. It's like my brain is telling me to stop, but I keep going. There just has to be an easier way. All that energy that I use up fighting that feeling would be better spent focused on the creative pursuit.
So hopefully in the next few days I can work on some internal stuff more and make some kind of breakthrough. I just have to go back to square one and start with being honest with myself instead of pushing away deeper held beliefs with logic in an attempt to avoid them.
I was working on some music today. Now I know most stuff in life doesn't come easy, there's always gonna be some challenge. But as I sat there at my computer today I realized one thing. The only thing holding me back from progress is the fear of failure. There is no such thing as writers block, there's always ideas. They may not be good ideas, but that shouldn't stop me from experimenting with that. Now most people would advise me to just keep pushing and plow through the fear. But here's the thing. I constantly feel like getting up and walking away in the middle of a song. It's like my brain is telling me to stop, but I keep going. There just has to be an easier way. All that energy that I use up fighting that feeling would be better spent focused on the creative pursuit.
So hopefully in the next few days I can work on some internal stuff more and make some kind of breakthrough. I just have to go back to square one and start with being honest with myself instead of pushing away deeper held beliefs with logic in an attempt to avoid them.
