08-14-2013, 02:20 PM
Bah. That last post, I don't feel it anymore. It would be nice to work on my appearance, but honestly I don't have the energy. I'm not a slob, but I'm not really all that stylish either.
Right now I've got a metaphorical gas tank. Work usually drains about half of that, maybe more depending on how the day goes. My music production can be draining as well. At times it is stressful making the music, but I enjoy it. Whereas working on my dress sense, it seems like a lot of work to me and spending energy on that seems more of a waste.
I guess what I'm rambling about is stressing about what I need to do isn't of any help if I don't really have the energy to do it. So I might as well just enjoy what I can do and when I'm ready tackle something else.
Today I spent a couple of minutes outside just sitting in the sun in my backyard. Listening to the sounds and taking in the sights. Just experiencing nature and detaching from the chaos I feel like my life is in right now. Taking in the beauty was nice. But it just felt like I couldn't connect as much. I read on another forum how depression can be like a buzzing noise layered over everything. That's been my experience. It's not so much the absence of being able to appreciate these things, but more like I can't experience them to the fullest. And to some extent things are very dream like, they don't seem real. Hard to describe if you've never experienced it.
Anyway, gonna get some allergy tests at the end of this month. See what could be contributing to this for sure. For the time being I haven't changed my diet even though I feel like gluten could be causing issues. I can't cut it out just yet, otherwise I won't get accurate results.
Back to job hunting for me. Hopefully something shows up. I'm a broke bastard. Most of my money has been going to repaying student loans.
Right now I've got a metaphorical gas tank. Work usually drains about half of that, maybe more depending on how the day goes. My music production can be draining as well. At times it is stressful making the music, but I enjoy it. Whereas working on my dress sense, it seems like a lot of work to me and spending energy on that seems more of a waste.
I guess what I'm rambling about is stressing about what I need to do isn't of any help if I don't really have the energy to do it. So I might as well just enjoy what I can do and when I'm ready tackle something else.
Today I spent a couple of minutes outside just sitting in the sun in my backyard. Listening to the sounds and taking in the sights. Just experiencing nature and detaching from the chaos I feel like my life is in right now. Taking in the beauty was nice. But it just felt like I couldn't connect as much. I read on another forum how depression can be like a buzzing noise layered over everything. That's been my experience. It's not so much the absence of being able to appreciate these things, but more like I can't experience them to the fullest. And to some extent things are very dream like, they don't seem real. Hard to describe if you've never experienced it.
Anyway, gonna get some allergy tests at the end of this month. See what could be contributing to this for sure. For the time being I haven't changed my diet even though I feel like gluten could be causing issues. I can't cut it out just yet, otherwise I won't get accurate results.
Back to job hunting for me. Hopefully something shows up. I'm a broke bastard. Most of my money has been going to repaying student loans.
