07-29-2013, 06:47 PM
Got home from work today exhausted. I'd been thinking about working on music and practicing to get better. No doubt I'm passionate about it. I love creating music. But I sat down today and forced myself to make something. During that time I experienced a lot of issues. One was, NOTHING sounded right. It's like my brain was playing tricks on me. Two, I just wasn't enjoying the process, my heart didn't feel in it. Three, my flow was just off, just a huge creative block, it took me ages to get something to a point where I thought it was decent.
So after that experience I asked myself. Do I keep pushing? Do I keep forcing myself to make things despite not feeling like my heart is in it? In the end I feel like it made my depression worse because I felt like I couldn't get anything right.
I just don't know what's the right way to go about this. I know I have to practice more. I know artists go through ups and downs in any medium, but the numbing of my brain ruins my ability to vibe with the music.
I'll see how I feel tomorrow. Maybe forcing it isn't the best option, especially if it results in lackluster results.
So after that experience I asked myself. Do I keep pushing? Do I keep forcing myself to make things despite not feeling like my heart is in it? In the end I feel like it made my depression worse because I felt like I couldn't get anything right.
I just don't know what's the right way to go about this. I know I have to practice more. I know artists go through ups and downs in any medium, but the numbing of my brain ruins my ability to vibe with the music.
I'll see how I feel tomorrow. Maybe forcing it isn't the best option, especially if it results in lackluster results.
