07-10-2013, 06:49 PM
I'm thinking about this whole alpha journey. I'm not entirely sure why I'm doing this. Yeah it's self improvement, but is it really a positive thing for me? I don't think so, I think I'm operating out of fear instead of genuine desire for growth and improvement.
I was reading about this thing called survival strategies from a website.
See that's me. I'm striving to become more alpha because I feel like I have to in order to get by. If I take away that anxiety then would I really feel the need to improve? If my life was ok and I was happy, then maybe I'd have no desire to continue this alpha program. I'm just wondering if this really is the right path for me. If there is any actual desire for me to grow that isn't rooted in this negative self esteem.
Maybe it's just resistance from the alpha program. But I'm going crazy trying to figure it all out. If all I want is freedom, then wouldn't that mean tossing aside the idea of actually attempting to reach some kind of alpha male traits?
I keep making the same mistakes, I think. For some reason I never feel like these subliminals can destroy these perfectionist habits. I want to get to a point where I'm ok with myself, but I'm also ok with getting better. Not this, not ok with myself until I reach xyz. I'm currently doing some of the lefkoe belief stuff to accelerate eliminating the perfectionist habits. Anything at this point, I'm going crazy.
I was reading about this thing called survival strategies from a website.
Quote:We discovered that people have two basic ways of dealing with the unpleasant feelings that are caused by negative self-esteem beliefs: First, they use alcohol, drugs, food, or other substances to try to cover up the feelings and numb themselves, or to make themselves feel good. Second, they develop survival strategies that help them deal with the anxiety that stems from their negative beliefs. As a survival strategy is formed, the child also forms a belief about that strategy. For example: I'm good enough because... What makes me worthwhile is... The way to deal with a dangerous world is... The way to survive is ...
See that's me. I'm striving to become more alpha because I feel like I have to in order to get by. If I take away that anxiety then would I really feel the need to improve? If my life was ok and I was happy, then maybe I'd have no desire to continue this alpha program. I'm just wondering if this really is the right path for me. If there is any actual desire for me to grow that isn't rooted in this negative self esteem.
Maybe it's just resistance from the alpha program. But I'm going crazy trying to figure it all out. If all I want is freedom, then wouldn't that mean tossing aside the idea of actually attempting to reach some kind of alpha male traits?
I keep making the same mistakes, I think. For some reason I never feel like these subliminals can destroy these perfectionist habits. I want to get to a point where I'm ok with myself, but I'm also ok with getting better. Not this, not ok with myself until I reach xyz. I'm currently doing some of the lefkoe belief stuff to accelerate eliminating the perfectionist habits. Anything at this point, I'm going crazy.
