Roy's Alpha Male Journal

[Majordomus]

I read the book no more mr nice guy today.Very interesting book.Made me think about the ways I settled down,looked for approval and was afraid.
The nice guy behavior comes from fear and approval seeking.
It comes from dysfunctional childhood and all of that.

I saw a lot of what the book describes in my past behaviors.It's a bit hard to
admit but lots of my choices I made because of fear,scarcity thinking and approval seeking.

One part that hit a nerve is the part about attracting your relationships that
you get partners that are problematic to avoid your problems,sexuality
and also settling for other people bad behavior because you are afraid the consequences.

It's not fun to think about all of that.But awareness of that will probably help to improve.I guess I have to digest that now.I put everyone else needs
in front on mine.It's a bit depressing to think about all of that.It's hard to
admit this stuff and accept it.

Maybe all that time I was causing my self the troubles.I let everyone else
reject me,take advantage of and all of that by letting them

On the last few day there wasn't the roller coaster mental effects,no overload and it's nice.More small changes in my behavior I think.

I didn't succeed more,or had better or more relationships because I sold
my self short,sabotaged my self or both.It's like a glass ceiling I ran into
and wasn't even aware it was there.

Keep going, Roy.
Awesome.
I am gonna have to read that book too.