(01-19-2013, 08:24 PM)Shannon Wrote: Pushing back the ocean is futile. You must either drain it, or move back. That is to say, deal with the cause, not the symptom.
You remind me so much of myself it's scary. When I was younger, I was terrified of everything. I was too scared to learn to drive, too scared to get a job, too scared period. I ended up having my mother take me to a shrink, who basically told me... just get a job.
Real slick, buddy, I knew that. What he didn't help me do was overcome the fear that was keeping me from getting a job and learning to drive. Primarily because he never asked me why I wasn't doing so, or why I was resisting. Duh.
I think maybe he didn't bother with me because there was no pill for fear at the time, and anything but prescribing pills is too much work for them these days in a lot of cases.
Anyway... the similarities are striking. Keep making progress. When you get the chance, try running OGSF or OF for 3-6 months. (I'm hoping you're not already, cause then I'd feel stupid. lol)
I was also afraid to learn to drive. I didn't get my license until I was 18. I also failed my first road test because I was just too nervous. My parents had to twist my arm to get me to go out and get a job. At least they pushed me, but I had anxiety every single day I went to that job. It really left a poor impression on me. I can't even go in that store anymore, it just brings back too many negative feelings and associations.
I also went to a shrink. He recommended a job. I told him I'm having issues with anxiety. You know what he said? Anxiety isn't real and I was just overreacting to the situation and being irrational.
Uh, maybe I should have started a new thread for what I've been doing. This has been one continuous run on journal. I've been through a lot of subs. That's my bad. You think I should start a new thread? I was trying not to clog up the forum with several different ones.
Anyway I went through overcome fear for 57 days. Then I switched over to overcome guilt shame and fear and I've been on that for 30 days now. To be honest I can't tell if the depression is being amplified by the sub or if I'd be having such a rough time without the subliminal.
Oh one more thing. Shannon how was the relationship between your mom and your dad growing up? My parents have drifted apart over the years. It started fairly early though, when I was in my teens. They didn't divorce because staying together was necessary because of financial reasons. My dad was very bad at controlling his emotions and had outbursts, but my mom was always incredibly hard on him and they'd go at it, neither one of them acting like adults. Both of them are humans, obviously, but both of them are incredibly short tempered. I felt like I was very often a mediator when things got out of control because nobody in my house wanted to control that anger and work things out calmly.
