12-27-2012, 12:09 PM
I think I'm just gonna put in another journal entry because I just feel like it lol. I don't know, at this point in my life I'm so confused with everything. It's that transition period I think. Either that or it's this sub pulling apart the knots in my mind that have held me back.
Winter has been incredibly depressing here. I'm pretty sure I suffer from seasonal affective disorder. I'm going to a holistic doctor soon, get my blood drawn, see what they have to say about vitamins and such. But even during the summer or spring, things were kind of bleak looking. Just in winter it's amplified more. I don't know how some people live in this kind of weather 24/7, I can't stand it.
The other day I was doing laundry and putting stuff away. And I just had this terrible feeling. I had to stop what I was doing and just lay there for a couple of minutes. It was like this overwhelming feeling where I just needed things to stop. It's like I need to do something, but at the same time there is just no energy for it. Just on days like that, it's this feeling of wanting to escape somehow, but you don't have an answer.
But something I realized. I was looking at old childhood pictures of myself and I was a really vibrant kid. My mom also had a natal chart reading done for me when I was younger. I don't know how accurate it was, or if this lady knew what she was talking about. But she essentially said I was going to be incredibly outgoing and balanced, very strong and able to bounce back emotionally. Meh, some of those people just say things to flatter individuals with their readings, but what got me was her saying I was more outgoing business oriented in the future. Obviously things can change, but I wonder if my true nature has been covered up. She did also say that my ego could be very easily damaged, water sign or something, very sensitive.
I'm not really gonna base my life off of an astrology reading, especially because I can't know the validity of it. But it was interesting to hear about it. It just made me realize maybe I've been assuming I'm a certain way when I've really just had my nature twisted around and messed up because of negative beliefs and life experience. It's just important to remember to always be open to anything that changes, and to understand that expectations aren't always correct. Basically what that boils down to is, focusing on self growth and developing into the person who I am, and not someone else who I think I should be.
Winter has been incredibly depressing here. I'm pretty sure I suffer from seasonal affective disorder. I'm going to a holistic doctor soon, get my blood drawn, see what they have to say about vitamins and such. But even during the summer or spring, things were kind of bleak looking. Just in winter it's amplified more. I don't know how some people live in this kind of weather 24/7, I can't stand it.
The other day I was doing laundry and putting stuff away. And I just had this terrible feeling. I had to stop what I was doing and just lay there for a couple of minutes. It was like this overwhelming feeling where I just needed things to stop. It's like I need to do something, but at the same time there is just no energy for it. Just on days like that, it's this feeling of wanting to escape somehow, but you don't have an answer.
But something I realized. I was looking at old childhood pictures of myself and I was a really vibrant kid. My mom also had a natal chart reading done for me when I was younger. I don't know how accurate it was, or if this lady knew what she was talking about. But she essentially said I was going to be incredibly outgoing and balanced, very strong and able to bounce back emotionally. Meh, some of those people just say things to flatter individuals with their readings, but what got me was her saying I was more outgoing business oriented in the future. Obviously things can change, but I wonder if my true nature has been covered up. She did also say that my ego could be very easily damaged, water sign or something, very sensitive.
I'm not really gonna base my life off of an astrology reading, especially because I can't know the validity of it. But it was interesting to hear about it. It just made me realize maybe I've been assuming I'm a certain way when I've really just had my nature twisted around and messed up because of negative beliefs and life experience. It's just important to remember to always be open to anything that changes, and to understand that expectations aren't always correct. Basically what that boils down to is, focusing on self growth and developing into the person who I am, and not someone else who I think I should be.
