DMSI 3.2 Magnus

[Magnus]

So its hard to say exactly what stage 3 is doing one thing for sure is its making me more comfortable in new situations. I still don't like to talk to new people and I still have a fear of talking to good looking women but stage 3 is making me more real, more me. I've also been catching up with a lot of friends lately and in some situations i'm being looked to as the social leader. People asking me what we should do and where we should go.

One thing I've realized is that I've hid the real me away due to shame. Sometime early on in life I developed a feeling that the real me is not OK and I built up shame around who I was. This led me to not even know who I was, I remember when I started with my therapist I said to him I really don't know who I am. This shame holds me back in social situations as well. I'm really outgoing when I'm acting like someone else but not when I'm being me.

I think OFSG will do me some real good as whats become apparent is that shame holds some of my fears in place and dealing with that shame will help the fears melt away. I'm still unsure if there's guilt there but there's definitely shame.

Oh and early Merry Christmas everyone