12-01-2012, 05:28 PM
Well today I scheduled an appointment for a therapist. I submitted a form through his website, which honestly made things a hell of a lot easier for me. Not sure if I mentioned this anywhere else, but I've got a lot of anxiety when it comes to phones. I don't know what it is, but I actually have less anxiety talking to someone in person. Making a phone call actually causes my heart to race if I don't know the person. And while we are on the topic of phobias I also have an intense fear of worms haha.
Anyway, I'm gonna keep an open mind. At the very least just taking this small step has improved my mood a bit. Thinking about it now, I went almost a year without alpha. I want 5.0 so bad, but I just don't have the money. Maybe some scratch off lottery through the law of attraction could help me out in my time of need? haha. But as much as I love these subliminals, I'm a real diamond in the rough. I need all the help I can get.
Whenever I see a story about someone overcoming their problems and saying that you have control over your own mind and you just need to will it to happen, I feel bad. I tend to think that I'm different and that what I'm dealing with is harder. I don't understand why I can't just let this stuff go or overcome it. Is it me being pessimistic and feeling like I can't change and that being a self fulfilling prophecy? Do I just need a kick in the butt and to man up? Am I too sheltered? All I know is I can get paralyzed and overwhelmed when I've got too much to deal with. I'm just trying to take things one step at a time and not getting ahead of myself.
Anyway, I'm gonna keep an open mind. At the very least just taking this small step has improved my mood a bit. Thinking about it now, I went almost a year without alpha. I want 5.0 so bad, but I just don't have the money. Maybe some scratch off lottery through the law of attraction could help me out in my time of need? haha. But as much as I love these subliminals, I'm a real diamond in the rough. I need all the help I can get.
Whenever I see a story about someone overcoming their problems and saying that you have control over your own mind and you just need to will it to happen, I feel bad. I tend to think that I'm different and that what I'm dealing with is harder. I don't understand why I can't just let this stuff go or overcome it. Is it me being pessimistic and feeling like I can't change and that being a self fulfilling prophecy? Do I just need a kick in the butt and to man up? Am I too sheltered? All I know is I can get paralyzed and overwhelmed when I've got too much to deal with. I'm just trying to take things one step at a time and not getting ahead of myself.
