Best Next Path to Take after AM5

[FunkeyMonkey]

I definitely find the women attractive, so I don't think it's that. The woman could be a playboy playmate and I would reject her, because it's just this automatic thing that is avoiding...... Well something - that's the thing, I don't know what I'm avoiding. It's so automatic. I actually think the problem IS that I find her attractive. That's actually what triggers the auto-avoid.

I think you already know what your problem which is fear of rejection like you mentioned above, therefore you are not initiatiating, approaching, or taking direct action to meet women. That is explaining why you avoiding her.

I think I have the same problem as well, I have fear of rejection so I always try to find ways to protect myself being hurt or avoid something that will hurt my self esteem.

I just guessing that the subconscious were trying to protect you so as a result you will avoid situation that you think it will hurt you or your esteem (rejection).

Maybe master Shannon has better explanation and solution about about this.

I did a little research on this in the last few days because it's really bugging me, how seemingly automatic it is. I found this guy named Morty Lefkoe. He created something called The Lefkoe Method. It is supposed to eliminate destructive beliefs.

Whether the method really works I can't comment on because I don't know enough about it.

But what is interesting, is that he says after having seen hundreds of clients there is a group of core beliefs that come up over and over again and he thinks the majority of people pick these up from their parents as young children. Then it sort of splits off and the beliefs can vary person to person based on life experience etc.

These core beliefs are:
1 Mistakes and failure are bad.
2 I'm not good enough. *
3 Change is difficult.
4 I'm not important. *
5 What makes me good enough or important is having people think well of me. *
6 Nothing I do is good enough.
7 I'm not capable.
8 I'm not competent.
9 I'm inadequate.
10 If I make a mistake or fail I'll be rejected. *
11 I'm a failure.
12 I'm stupid.
13 I'm not worthy.
14 I'll never get what I want.
15 I'm powerless.
16 People aren't interested in what I have to say.
17 What I have to say isn't important.
18 It's dangerous to have people put their attention on me (something bad will happen).
19 What makes me good enough or important is doing things perfectly.

And what's even more interesting is he says the fear of rejection is actually made up of 4 smaller beliefs and 3 conditioned responses that we pick up from our parents as children.

These beliefs are:
- I'm not good enough.
- I’m not important.
- What makes me good enough or important is having people think well of me. *
- If I make a mistake or fail I'll be rejected. *
Conditioning: Fear associated with criticism and judgment.
Conditioning: Fear associated with not meeting expectations.
Conditioning: Fear associated with rejection.