Insights into the creation process.

[Subeternal]

Very cool Subeternal,
Through working with EFT I have had experience with that myself. But the way I see that I don't really think it's religious but I will put it here anyway.

When your a child you have certain things happening to you that effect you for all of your life unless you find a way to deal with them. For example I am adopted and I had alot of insecurities and sadness and such around that and was never able to stay with a girl longer than 3 months. I still tell girls I don't want a relationship and i've never been in 1 that i've actually been fully happy with just that person. It's got alot better since doing some good internal work, but I don't feel like I want a committed relationship. The difference now is I am honest about it with the girls.

But because basically in my mind my real mother abandoned me.. whenever it starts going towards something more serious all of a sudden I get really worried, want to get out of it and lose all attraction for the girl. Like even a few days before everything could be okay, but then she wants to take it to something more serious and I suddenly lose attraction to her. I haven't solved that and I don't know if I want to, I more want to get myself established first before thinking of any of that. But it has improved by letting go of some of that stuff from my childhood.

The other major pattern that I have mostly solved is getting bullied and attracting violence. All throughout school I was picked on, bullied etc which brought me to learn how to fight and drew me to security so I could learn how to deal with aggressive people. I learnt to deal with it and become more comfortable with it, but it was ***** me up. I was going too far to the other side and over reacting and because of that and also my 'point of attraction' that was attracting this stuff to me (because of something in my past I hadn't learnt or dealt with) but the problem was it just kept getting more serious because I wasn't listening. It ended up in the most scary situation of my life outside of work that caused me issues for a long time and made me stack on alot more weight.

In the end I calmed down and it balanced out alot more and I attracted alot less of this. (Alpha 2011 helped alot).

But I was too scared to get out of that job completely.. but something kept telling me I had to do it. Unfortunately I ended up being put in hospital one night on the job and had anxiety and a bad memory for several months. But now I see it more as a positive thing. It got me out of there and put me on the path of doing my own thing. I feel alot more relaxed and better not being in it. And I am glad I stopped myself going down the dark path that I started to, I was self aware enough to stop it, but I still see guys who have done it much longer than me stuck in it.

But there may be still something there, because I still get this urge occasionally, I miss the excitement, and I have to control myself sometimes when i'm out and somebody is really asking for it like abusing my mates working security or whatever. And I keep getting the urge to go back.

I let my license expire on purpose so I don't. So it's either there is something else for me to learn or the other thing I accepted that maybe this actually is a natural masculine desire that I don't have to act upon unless I really have to (self defense). It is demonized these days but it makes sense to me.

So basically my answer is, you have learnt it when it stops happening, when you stop attracting the same thing into your life.

But if you don't listen.. it just gets much more serious. Like me going from getting bullied and schoolyard fights to things much more serious.

One thing that really interests me if the theory of 'darkside psychology'. Which is basically all those things about yourself that you hide away, and don't want to look at or acknowledge. The power of it is apparently when you look into that and learn to accept it instead of trying to hide and get rid of it. Because when you try to push it down it usually comes out in unhealthy ways. Hence one of my things is when I can is do martial arts training in my shed. But it's hard to find people as I somehow scare them off.

Anyway, I didn't go into any religion as I can't really relate what you asked to that. But those are my thoughts. Hopefully it gets you thinking.

-Ben

Your post helped me a lot even though you may not know what I'm getting at. I was making reference to reincarnation and the repeating theme of the idea that you have to make a certain amount of progress in that instance of life or else you'll end up doing it over and over again.

My whole life has been that. Never stopped happening, I kept on attracting damage to myself and where I'm at now I think its done. I think you can only do "stupid" things for so long without ending up dead or in life threatening situations.