Best Next Path to Take after AM5

[FunkeyMonkey]

you might just not be as viscerally attracted to these woman who like you.
Number one I'd say be aware of your attraction to her if you want to escalate, that's why SM helped so much, my experience of woman became incredibly compelling. You could be the most attractive man on the planet, who can lead anyone, but if you don't viscerally want to get physical with her, then you'll find a way not to.
SM helped a quite a bit with following woman's blatant invitations, especially at certain stages, but the only thing that made
it really natural for me for less obvious situations, was assuming the best and being willing to follow through sexually at every opportunities I was interested, time by time, by just relaxing and realizing that the woman wanted to have sex.
When I became aware I was doing something very similar to you, especially after my first run through Alpha, and then just realized I often ended up regretting it so made the decision and set an intention to act differently in those situations.
Also the more I initiated escalation the easier it was to follow a woman's invitation as well.
That said the sub Winners mindset had me pulling the trigger very confidently.
I would definitely recommend, if your not already, staying very present and aware with you physical
sensations, in general of course, but especially with beautiful woman you are attracted to, attraction is a felt thing and the more polarized you feel towards her physically, the more you'll be inclined to follow your instincts that will lead to escalation.
Lastly one thing I had to confront with why I let opportunities slip through my hands was why I was avoiding/sabatoging/declining i.e. some examples:
fear of losing power
want to end on a good note
mentally like the idea of getting physical but not physically in touch with your drive or desire
not actually comfortable getting intimate so quickly even though mentally its what one wants to do
lazy
and whatever sub you do to speed things up you can always write 'pull the trigger' on your hand or forearm if your bold. I find it makes things more fun as well.

I definitely find the women attractive, so I don't think it's that. The woman could be a playboy playmate and I would reject her, because it's just this automatic thing that is avoiding...... Well something - that's the thing, I don't know what I'm avoiding. It's so automatic. I actually think the problem IS that I find her attractive. That's actually what triggers the auto-avoid.

But I think you hit it on the mark with the rest of what you said. Sounds like you went through something similar from you are describing. And yea the list of things you used as reasons not to pull the trigger sound familiar to me as well. It's almost like I'm deathly afraid of being polarizing and moving things along one way or the other.

You literally wrote pull the trigger on your arm? So people could see it - or more so you would know its there?

To be honest! I think I need to become a manwhore for a while just to find some sort of middle ground, because I'm so far from that now its ridiculous. And this seems like such a hard nut to crack.