10-15-2012, 07:50 PM
So came here to figure out if I should be starting phase 3 and sure enough I'm right on the day to start it so I really should give a progress update.
I must say looking back over the last 2 months I can definitely see a change in my life and honestly I didn't think I would. For one I'm more solid in who I am than I ever have been before. So much so that other men really irritate me, the beta behavior makes me disgusted and I've lashed out several times from it. I hear them talk about their wives and girlfriends or whatever and I feel sorry for them, they are so beat down and I want to help but they look at me like I'm crazy for taking a position of dominance with women. This has calmed down over the last couple of weeks though and I simply observe most of the time and let people live their bleak lives.
On my relationship front I have decided to maintain my current relationship with my sub. As Shannon said they have a tendency to lash out with uncertainty and this was her case. At around the time I started phase 2 I had gone to see her and told her that if we were going to continue I need more control and structure and that meant her giving me more as well. She agreed and wanted it very much, feeling this level and amount of submission is something few get feel and it's a beautiful thing. If things continue at this level then after school is over she'll be allowed to move in with me under my terms of service.
This move is also somewhat of a result of seeing what is out there as far as the market for women is involved. It's really rather dismal, or at least in the area I am in. It brought back memories of why I stopped all the dating I use to do 3 years ago. Women are definitely more receptive to me but their desire for me is not enough to make want much more out of them. I need a lot from a woman, after all I'm a man of high value right? and most just don't even come close to even grabbing my attention.
On the emotional front, which is one of the areas I wanted to work on, I would say that I'm a much more irritable person right now. I have little tolerance for anything that seems, well.. illogical to me. I simply remove myself from it most of time. But I would say my interpersonal skills have greatly improved. I went on a group camp out this weekend the group seemed to be drawn to what I was doing or saying even though most of the time it seemed to be not much. It was funny to see some of the guys trying to get the women to pay attention to them when all they wanted to do was talk and hang out around me
My last area was just generally taking care of myself and my domain and this has seen a major shift. I have taken an attitude of "do it now" with most everything. Instead of letting something sit, like say the dishes needing done or bigger things like the garage being a mess.. I do it now, don't wait and get it done. My work has been stressing me out and putting a lot of strain on me but I feel I'm coping with this attitude. Also I've been putting considerable effort in making sure that if I go out in public it's always in the best attire and presentation I can for the situation. I'm still working on my health too but that I'm finding hard to fit in my schedule but have been eating much better.
So that's my update, I'll try to be more frequent with these especially if there's interest.
I must say looking back over the last 2 months I can definitely see a change in my life and honestly I didn't think I would. For one I'm more solid in who I am than I ever have been before. So much so that other men really irritate me, the beta behavior makes me disgusted and I've lashed out several times from it. I hear them talk about their wives and girlfriends or whatever and I feel sorry for them, they are so beat down and I want to help but they look at me like I'm crazy for taking a position of dominance with women. This has calmed down over the last couple of weeks though and I simply observe most of the time and let people live their bleak lives.
On my relationship front I have decided to maintain my current relationship with my sub. As Shannon said they have a tendency to lash out with uncertainty and this was her case. At around the time I started phase 2 I had gone to see her and told her that if we were going to continue I need more control and structure and that meant her giving me more as well. She agreed and wanted it very much, feeling this level and amount of submission is something few get feel and it's a beautiful thing. If things continue at this level then after school is over she'll be allowed to move in with me under my terms of service.
This move is also somewhat of a result of seeing what is out there as far as the market for women is involved. It's really rather dismal, or at least in the area I am in. It brought back memories of why I stopped all the dating I use to do 3 years ago. Women are definitely more receptive to me but their desire for me is not enough to make want much more out of them. I need a lot from a woman, after all I'm a man of high value right? and most just don't even come close to even grabbing my attention.
On the emotional front, which is one of the areas I wanted to work on, I would say that I'm a much more irritable person right now. I have little tolerance for anything that seems, well.. illogical to me. I simply remove myself from it most of time. But I would say my interpersonal skills have greatly improved. I went on a group camp out this weekend the group seemed to be drawn to what I was doing or saying even though most of the time it seemed to be not much. It was funny to see some of the guys trying to get the women to pay attention to them when all they wanted to do was talk and hang out around me
My last area was just generally taking care of myself and my domain and this has seen a major shift. I have taken an attitude of "do it now" with most everything. Instead of letting something sit, like say the dishes needing done or bigger things like the garage being a mess.. I do it now, don't wait and get it done. My work has been stressing me out and putting a lot of strain on me but I feel I'm coping with this attitude. Also I've been putting considerable effort in making sure that if I go out in public it's always in the best attire and presentation I can for the situation. I'm still working on my health too but that I'm finding hard to fit in my schedule but have been eating much better.
So that's my update, I'll try to be more frequent with these especially if there's interest.
