09-28-2012, 02:00 PM
Ok so I got a burst of motivation and energy yesterday. This has happened before. The problem is, the willpower only lasts for so long and it drains me of energy incredibly fast. On top of that it stuffs me up emotionally and I feel like I'm not processing them correctly. And emotional suppression is very very stressful, I feel like I might be getting a stress headache today.
So instead of fighting it, I'm letting the emotions pass through me. But yesterdays realizations really helped me be more aware of my thinking and not letting that get out of hand.
So I'm still weathering the storm, but I'm better off not putting too much energy in trying to power through this. I think I started getting fed up with the cycle of negative thinking that I got stuck in, but now I'm doing a lot better at recognizing when that happens and redirecting that thinking. For me there's a very fine line between getting stuck in things and just outright denying them and trying to will stuff away.
Regardless there was a strong lesson I internalized the other day and I'd say that's good progress on my end.
I might be going to a therapist soon. I figured there really is no harm in getting some help and if it turns out they don't know what they are talking about, I can just leave. But I'm better off exploring my options than just slamming the door shut. I used to be kind of thick headed when it came to therapists, saying how could they possibly help me if I've spent so much time learning about myself. But I realize outside perspective is always good and sometimes it can be a big catalyst for change. No use making sweeping assumptions without at least trying it out. I definitely know I'm not gonna blab about my whole life story and have somebody sit there and nod. That won't do me any good. I'm going to articulate my problems as well as I can and see what they think.
So instead of fighting it, I'm letting the emotions pass through me. But yesterdays realizations really helped me be more aware of my thinking and not letting that get out of hand.
So I'm still weathering the storm, but I'm better off not putting too much energy in trying to power through this. I think I started getting fed up with the cycle of negative thinking that I got stuck in, but now I'm doing a lot better at recognizing when that happens and redirecting that thinking. For me there's a very fine line between getting stuck in things and just outright denying them and trying to will stuff away.
Regardless there was a strong lesson I internalized the other day and I'd say that's good progress on my end.
I might be going to a therapist soon. I figured there really is no harm in getting some help and if it turns out they don't know what they are talking about, I can just leave. But I'm better off exploring my options than just slamming the door shut. I used to be kind of thick headed when it came to therapists, saying how could they possibly help me if I've spent so much time learning about myself. But I realize outside perspective is always good and sometimes it can be a big catalyst for change. No use making sweeping assumptions without at least trying it out. I definitely know I'm not gonna blab about my whole life story and have somebody sit there and nod. That won't do me any good. I'm going to articulate my problems as well as I can and see what they think.
