Disconnect from negativity within

[mat422]

Mat, how about this? I went through Alpha 2006, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011 and now I'm going through 5.0 in 2012. That's 5 1/2 times I have been through it now. The good news is... I'm there! I'm over my social anxiety, and I actually seek out chances to talk to people and make friends and socialize now. Just this morning, I drove to the next town over just to have breakfast and flirt with women I never met before, because it's fun now. Tonight, I'm going out to play trivia with a group of new friends and flirt with three or four other women I know. Because it's fun now! And who cares if I bring someone home, or if anything happens? I have fun, I got out of the house, I balanced my workaholic tendencies with a little free and play time, and that's the goal. I would never have been able o do this without AM, but it didn't happen quickly for me either.

Alpha, indeed any personal growth, is not a race. Every man starts the journey at a different place. If I was worried what others thought, I'd never have made it through the first version, and AM wouldn't even exist. It's not about comparing yourself to others. It's about growing within yourself. If you are growing, guess what? You win! If not... you're still free to start any time.

You, sir, are growing. Therefore, who cares how long it takes you compared to anyone else? Don't think I'm losing sleep about making sales because of your personal progress. lol Anyone who reads your journal, and decides it doesn't work fast enough, without ever using it, is losing out, and that's their loss, not mine.

Thanks Shannon. It helps a lot hearing it from someone else . I'll get there, I know I will. I had a major shift in attitude today. I'm just keeping the momentum going, taking things one step at a time. That feeling of hopelessness is just a bad habit of mine and I'm starting to shift my thinking on how I relate to stuff. And I realized just how much I dug myself into a hole because now I'm thinking more clearly and I can see that things can and do change for the better.

Actually today I was talking to my mom about this stuff because in a lot of ways I'm like her. She sees the social anxiety as part of her, that it's her character or personality. I outright refuse to believe that. I told her that I don't see it as part of me, I see it as something that happens to me and I refuse to believe that this is who I am. There is nothing natural about having these fears and I think it's a damn shame that people are led to believe that "this is just who I am and I have to accept it". I know who I am and over the years I've grown to love and appreciate how different I can be. But I know for sure that person is still held back by fears which aren't me, which don't need to be a part of me.

It took me a while to detach from social anxiety and realize that it wasn't me. I feel like a lot of people that struggle with these issues begin to self identify with it and forget that it can be changed.

My changes have always been slow, but I've always made progress. I find that some guys on this forum had a jump on me so they are a bit ahead of the game. But I'm at my own pace and that's ok.

My only problem is I don't want potential customers to look at my experience and say "well he went through alpha twice and he's still got issues!" People have to understand where I came from and where I am now is a huge difference. Maybe not noticeable to others, but all that matters is that I've gotten better and I feel better. I want to be the inspiration for other guys that have started out in a rough position like me and give them hope for the future. Not everybody is the same, but we can all improve our lives for the better.

Mat, that's a fantastic attitude, man! No matter what anyone else gets from your experience, I think the important takeaway is that even from a really rough starting point, one can make incredible improvements in their lives. Whether it's resisted-and-slow or effortless-and-fast makes no difference. The fact that you're feeling better than you did before, and you're going to feel even better is IT.

Don't worry about what potential customers take away from your story. Your journey is about you.

Thanks Sean.