07-25-2010, 02:24 PM
Something is really changing in me. As all my tests finished, I got some free time this weekend. I was really relaxed, had a lot of time to do things I really like. I read some books w/ martial art content. I got the feeling to do something to further improve myself, listening to music from "Prinz Porno" - he has some content w/ spiritual content.
Had some parties w/ friends of mine - without forcing it, I was somehow the center, people come and talk to, have fun with, I heared friends saying "..he is really a great guy..". A friend of mine wanting me to dance close w/ his girlfriend, I declined. Made some new friends, an association telling me, she want to go out with me again.
BUT, and that is somehow "fascinating": I just want to be w/ myself. I don´t feel any force within myself to do anything or forcing anything, i.e. with an assocation, just let life flow. I know my path, but I somehow see the matrix clearer. Hard to describe, but I´ll give my best. I recognize, that anyday is starting and ending (like life is). I feel a better connection to earth. I know anything is good. I receive good things. Knowing that there is a force, you may call it universe that is dictating our lifes, that anything in this world here isn´t real. Listening to music and just chilling. Having feelings from my past, seeing things that didn´t have a good ending, but I say "ok" - I feel situations once again, have a smile on my face, seeing the good in anything and letting it go. Giving things a good spin. Just relax and say YES to life - anything is great as IT is.
That is how I am feeling in the moment - it is imho exactly in the middle of good and bad. It is just relaxed, letting past go and accepting that it is as it is and somehow enjoying without too many emotions.
That is the way I am feeling currently and wanted it to share with you.
// smash
Had some parties w/ friends of mine - without forcing it, I was somehow the center, people come and talk to, have fun with, I heared friends saying "..he is really a great guy..". A friend of mine wanting me to dance close w/ his girlfriend, I declined. Made some new friends, an association telling me, she want to go out with me again.
BUT, and that is somehow "fascinating": I just want to be w/ myself. I don´t feel any force within myself to do anything or forcing anything, i.e. with an assocation, just let life flow. I know my path, but I somehow see the matrix clearer. Hard to describe, but I´ll give my best. I recognize, that anyday is starting and ending (like life is). I feel a better connection to earth. I know anything is good. I receive good things. Knowing that there is a force, you may call it universe that is dictating our lifes, that anything in this world here isn´t real. Listening to music and just chilling. Having feelings from my past, seeing things that didn´t have a good ending, but I say "ok" - I feel situations once again, have a smile on my face, seeing the good in anything and letting it go. Giving things a good spin. Just relax and say YES to life - anything is great as IT is.
That is how I am feeling in the moment - it is imho exactly in the middle of good and bad. It is just relaxed, letting past go and accepting that it is as it is and somehow enjoying without too many emotions.
That is the way I am feeling currently and wanted it to share with you.
// smash
focused mass action
