OGSF2

[Inconceivablezen]

As a kid I was taught that I wasn’t good enough unless I got an A so I felt like I needed to be perfect. I was guilted and shamed for inaction as well imperfection. So what’s the point of taking action if it’s not perfect? I’m wrong so any action I take can’t be perfect, or eventually it won’t be perfect and I’ll feel inadequate.

My parents built this unintentionally into me when I was young. Telling me I'm very smart, etc. But, that gave me very high expectations of myself and if I ever got a B, I'd throw away that test somewhere and didn't show it to my parents out of shame. My parents are very loving, don't get me wrong, but this created a toxic perfectionism in me, that has given me tons of upsides as well, in life. I could more or less retire at age 35, four years out of college, among other things, by always pushing the limit. But, the loss is sense of peace in life...