10-16-2023, 11:54 AM
Day 4:
Well I thought things were better untill I got a meeting at my job with My Boss,My Jobcoach and My Lifestyle coach.
Things where going well untill I heard that he wanted to move the days around with the idea it would be better for me.
from Monday,Thursday and Friday. (Yes I work 3 days a week.)
But now he wanted to change it to Monday,Wednesday,Friday, (wich freaked me out because I have my Lifestyle coach with me on Tuesdays and Wednesday and she also only works 3 days a week being: Monday,Tuesday and Wednesday)
So When I heard this I freaked out and Started in Doom Thinking and My Boss responded to me with saying that He's the one who decides when I work and not me (wich is true considering he's my boss).
Luckly it turned out that my Lifestyle coach can change the time to later that same day,So in the end my worrying was for nothing and I got the feeling I offended My boss instead...
Later on I spoke with my Jobcoach about it, who was also there and told me,That it was because of my doom thinking and if I just waited calmly instead of responding with fear that I would have made a better impression.
And that I should take it as a learning moment..
(yes despite being 33, I bearly had any job experiences because no one wanted me after the economic crisis from 2008 because of that A word that I already spammed and complained enough about already)
(I had no job from 2011 till 2017)..
And it was in that moment that I realised that after all this time I'm still the scared child that I always was.... Yes OGSF helped me but mainly to express myself better...
I still Fear conflict, I still fear making mistakes to the point where I just can't let them go,I still fear change... and I really just want to stop being negative and scared all the time..
Mayby this is the reason why I got the feeling to go for Mask instead,because I want the feeling of being nurtured.... dont know if it helps....
I just know that I kept myself from crying and that I just want a hug...
(I might be 33 years old but in the end I'm still a manchild after all...)
I can't wait for the moment my negativity will finally die off for good.
(good thing I already planned to use this experience for a whole year.)
Well I thought things were better untill I got a meeting at my job with My Boss,My Jobcoach and My Lifestyle coach.
Things where going well untill I heard that he wanted to move the days around with the idea it would be better for me.
from Monday,Thursday and Friday. (Yes I work 3 days a week.)
But now he wanted to change it to Monday,Wednesday,Friday, (wich freaked me out because I have my Lifestyle coach with me on Tuesdays and Wednesday and she also only works 3 days a week being: Monday,Tuesday and Wednesday)
So When I heard this I freaked out and Started in Doom Thinking and My Boss responded to me with saying that He's the one who decides when I work and not me (wich is true considering he's my boss).
Luckly it turned out that my Lifestyle coach can change the time to later that same day,So in the end my worrying was for nothing and I got the feeling I offended My boss instead...
Later on I spoke with my Jobcoach about it, who was also there and told me,That it was because of my doom thinking and if I just waited calmly instead of responding with fear that I would have made a better impression.
And that I should take it as a learning moment..
(yes despite being 33, I bearly had any job experiences because no one wanted me after the economic crisis from 2008 because of that A word that I already spammed and complained enough about already)
(I had no job from 2011 till 2017)..
And it was in that moment that I realised that after all this time I'm still the scared child that I always was.... Yes OGSF helped me but mainly to express myself better...
I still Fear conflict, I still fear making mistakes to the point where I just can't let them go,I still fear change... and I really just want to stop being negative and scared all the time..
Mayby this is the reason why I got the feeling to go for Mask instead,because I want the feeling of being nurtured.... dont know if it helps....
I just know that I kept myself from crying and that I just want a hug...
(I might be 33 years old but in the end I'm still a manchild after all...)
I can't wait for the moment my negativity will finally die off for good.
(good thing I already planned to use this experience for a whole year.)