05-28-2023, 05:34 AM
May 28 / 3 pm
Little things piss me off, people, situations observed and imagined. Im at the point to say fuck it, it all doesnt matter, as I consciously look into it, my emotions/state. Funny how it started off with not getting a greeting back after saying hi. Rejection, abandonment, neediness. My dad being unavailable during childhood, mom rather getting brainwashed behind the tv then actually sitting listening. Oh this hit me... On AM6 this wasnt a thing, maybe minor. Prolly the self validation programming, reliance and wholeness, making me an alpha male. DMSI on the other hand is about sex, and I bet THAT is what it is. Its more in your face. Makes sense, could be wrong, Shannon knows best, he knows the scripts.
Emotional availability hits hard, stands out. Wow, its just as impactfull and damaging as not being there at all..
Cant wait till my tatts are getting done. Been years since my last one, im overflowing with ideas and knowing where and what I want.
Coming to realize how subtle of an undercurrent perfectionism can be. Guess its one of the reasons of resistance, wanting to control, wanting to be perfect. Perfectionism being a subtle drive yet something all is build on, every present.
Little things piss me off, people, situations observed and imagined. Im at the point to say fuck it, it all doesnt matter, as I consciously look into it, my emotions/state. Funny how it started off with not getting a greeting back after saying hi. Rejection, abandonment, neediness. My dad being unavailable during childhood, mom rather getting brainwashed behind the tv then actually sitting listening. Oh this hit me... On AM6 this wasnt a thing, maybe minor. Prolly the self validation programming, reliance and wholeness, making me an alpha male. DMSI on the other hand is about sex, and I bet THAT is what it is. Its more in your face. Makes sense, could be wrong, Shannon knows best, he knows the scripts.
Emotional availability hits hard, stands out. Wow, its just as impactfull and damaging as not being there at all..
Cant wait till my tatts are getting done. Been years since my last one, im overflowing with ideas and knowing where and what I want.
Coming to realize how subtle of an undercurrent perfectionism can be. Guess its one of the reasons of resistance, wanting to control, wanting to be perfect. Perfectionism being a subtle drive yet something all is build on, every present.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
