09-08-2012, 12:46 PM
I just started working out again today. Nothing major. Just a few pushups, pullups, and bodyweight squats. I think I'm going to keep it light for now. I have a tendency to want to rush head first into something, crash and burn hard because I'm not conditioned for it, and then start to hate exercise.
And I started thinking about what I'd like to do vs what I feel like I should do. When I was younger I was very upset that I was on the more slender side, so I really wanted to bulk up. Nowadays, I really don't care haha. I'm not in shape fitness wise, my cardio is probably abysmal. But I've got a healthy body, decent muscle tone, not too skinny but not rippling with muscle either. It got me thinking, what was the reason I wanted to pack on more muscle? Mostly for the attention from women. I think aspiring for a model like physique is ok in some ways, but there's a certain point where I think some men are just as guilty of being self conscious of their bodies as women. And also I see a lot of guys try to affirm their masculinity through their bodies, which I think is just further proof that guys aren't being taught the right lessons in todays society.
Now don't get me wrong I think it's great that guys want to get stronger or get a better physique, it just helps a lot with self esteem. But there's only so much a good physique can do if the internal beliefs are negative. And like anything else where there is misery, someone's profiting off of it.
Anyway rambling aside. I realized I just want a healthy body, maybe a bit athletic looking. In the past when I started a workout I'd be so obsessed with training like a madman. I hated my workouts, I'd always question why I was doing them. I wasn't really training for anything, I didn't really need explosive strength, I didn't need to be able to do 100 meter sprints and track my time, and I didn't need to train to do 1 handed pushups.
I realized that yet again, fear was the culprit behind my actions. I wanted to be stronger so nobody could hurt me and if I was in a situation in the future I'd be strong enough to fend off somebody. Always that feeling of "just in case". But you know what? I think a lot of that just stemmed from not being strong enough as a kid internally. So now that I realized that I can just do my own workouts and enjoy them. And if one day it all changes and I do want to get all crazy with my workouts again that's cool too.
The one thing I'm always realizing is that people are all so different. I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others and judging myself based off of that. When the most important thing is to just live my life for myself and do what makes me happy.
And I started thinking about what I'd like to do vs what I feel like I should do. When I was younger I was very upset that I was on the more slender side, so I really wanted to bulk up. Nowadays, I really don't care haha. I'm not in shape fitness wise, my cardio is probably abysmal. But I've got a healthy body, decent muscle tone, not too skinny but not rippling with muscle either. It got me thinking, what was the reason I wanted to pack on more muscle? Mostly for the attention from women. I think aspiring for a model like physique is ok in some ways, but there's a certain point where I think some men are just as guilty of being self conscious of their bodies as women. And also I see a lot of guys try to affirm their masculinity through their bodies, which I think is just further proof that guys aren't being taught the right lessons in todays society.
Now don't get me wrong I think it's great that guys want to get stronger or get a better physique, it just helps a lot with self esteem. But there's only so much a good physique can do if the internal beliefs are negative. And like anything else where there is misery, someone's profiting off of it.
Anyway rambling aside. I realized I just want a healthy body, maybe a bit athletic looking. In the past when I started a workout I'd be so obsessed with training like a madman. I hated my workouts, I'd always question why I was doing them. I wasn't really training for anything, I didn't really need explosive strength, I didn't need to be able to do 100 meter sprints and track my time, and I didn't need to train to do 1 handed pushups.
I realized that yet again, fear was the culprit behind my actions. I wanted to be stronger so nobody could hurt me and if I was in a situation in the future I'd be strong enough to fend off somebody. Always that feeling of "just in case". But you know what? I think a lot of that just stemmed from not being strong enough as a kid internally. So now that I realized that I can just do my own workouts and enjoy them. And if one day it all changes and I do want to get all crazy with my workouts again that's cool too.
The one thing I'm always realizing is that people are all so different. I have a bad habit of comparing myself to others and judging myself based off of that. When the most important thing is to just live my life for myself and do what makes me happy.
